I have been intentionally not writing/posting this summer. I wanted to take some time for reflection, rest, renewal and such from the process of blogging... Well, today I heard a sermon about the plans of life and how they are often interrupted by the otherwise. I had planned not to blog until August 1st but today's message brought me through an otherwise moment.
I have been sick for nearly three years. This was not my plan for my life. Life has been otherwise to the things I have wanted out of my late 20s. In early May, I noticed that some of my more annoying symptoms were returning at a quick pace. I had planned to finally be healthy but life has been otherwise. I am quite tired of being poked and prodded. I do not want to spend more time in doctors' offices, ERs, operating rooms or hospital rooms without a good view. However, what I want will probably be otherwise.
The otherwise of life can often be less than ideal. The plans I had made looked nearly flawless. I was excited to spend life in ministry. I had no doubt that I was going to be healthy, happy, married, and starting a family by this point. My otherwise does not look like this. I am not healthy, take pills to make me happy, single and unable to have biological children. My otherwise has been full of serious blows.
What do I do with my otherwise? How do I move into a place of accepting that life is otherwise and not really my plan? How do I continue to trust God in the midst of uncertainty, heartache, sickness and just life?
I can only come to one answer. It is not an answer I like. It is not an answer that Norm gave in his sermon this morning... It is what it is... and I believe that the only answer to my question is grace. I have to learn that the otherwise can only be faced head-on with the grace of God. Does that fix how I feel right now? Honestly, not really. Nonetheless it does provide a glimmer of hope that tomorrow will be better because His grace is new each day.
