I haven't had a good night's rest in months. At first, I believed it was due to my illness, being uncomfortable and anxiety over KGB and the surgery. But now that I am feeling betting, my surgery is over and so is the KGB #111... so what is the deal with my sleep?! My brain is too busy and my back hurts. And maybe (just maybe) God is trying to do something. I hate not sleeping; it makes me cranky, irritable, and a little slow about some things. It makes me not want to do anything. For real! Now I have been forcing myself to still do things like work, social outings, softball and what not; however, the desire for this is low. But I digress...
In my sleeplessness last night, I was reflecting about the United Methodist Church General Conference. I can say that I am honestly quite disappointed that our delegates discussed Rule 44 for three days and still did not get it passed. I'm embarrassed that we have chosen to not to hear each others stories, hearts, and experiences. I am concerned about the message it sends to outsiders watching what we are doing. I worry that we have chosen not to show love or interest to each other inside of the denomination and that will have an effect on how we are perceived to to love or care about our communities. I have a sinking feeling that their response to Rule 44 is the hand writing on the wall for how the rest of General Conference will go.
I followed the twitter feed fairly closely yesterday and watched a few hours of the live feed as I could. It was difficult to watch at points. We had delegates who were acknowledged by the Bishop to have the floor who flat out admitted they were utterly confused. We watched a delegate misgender the presiding Bishop and then argue with her. People were passionate, and not always in a positive way. However, it was also positive to watch in some ways. I loved the installation of Bishop Ough as the president of the Council of Bishops. I even loved watching the nominations (although it was rough to watch only one nomination from the North Central Jurisdiction and to have only one Youth Delegate at GC).
I feel weighed down this morning with the seriousness of what will be happening at General Conference. They begin session in 20ish minutes from when I am typing this. I have deep worry and concern that we will miss the boat on this conference in ways that are irreversible. The United Methodist church in the United States has been in decline for many years and I fear this could spiral us out of control. I know living in Indiana my opinion about our most divisive issues, I do not have the popular opinion. I am for full inclusion. I am for love. I am for living out our motto: Open Hearts, Open Doors, Open Minds. If we do not vote for full inclusion that motto means nothing. Actually, it means that we are liars and don't even believe what we say about ourselves. I digress again. My apologies...
165 years ago popular opinion was to leave slavery the way it was
150 years ago was the official outlaw of slavery
100 years ago women weren't supposed to be in the pulpit
75 years ago interracial marriages were still illegal in many states
55 years ago Protestants were still considered heretics by the Catholic Church
50 years ago if you got divorced you were no longer allowed to serve your church
40 years ago civil rights pushed us into new places as a church
My point is we as a church change with time as the culture changes. There is more biblical proof to keep women out of the pulpit than there is to keep people who were not born heterosexual out of the pulpit; especially when you read and interpret it in first century language and experience. It is time to keep our called individuals who are doing effective ministry in their positions with the ability to come out of the closet without fear of punishment or retaliation. It is time to let our LGBTIQ brothers and sisters enter the arduous process of ordination. It is time to accept the fact that people of all backgrounds are called by a loving God to be in the ministry of loving the world and making disciples for Christ.
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