When Healing Hurts

I had surgery eleven days ago... so we are in the weird stage of healing that includes strange twinges of pain, itching and overall not exactly comfortable.

I am also in a season of emotional healing and changes, which also hurts. Since KGB #111, I have experienced a lot of new social interactions, feelings and stuff. (I hate that word 'stuff' it is so vague and pointless but I don't have a better word.) Growing pains, just like in childhood, are uncomfortable but necessary to get to where we need to be. My growing pains have been startling, uncomfortable and somehow reassuring that God is in this process. People have had to use stern voices (aka yell at me) to get me to hear and see the Truth. I have had to cry. I have needed to be held and reassured. It has been weird and hard and it HURTS.

This hurt though has the promise of freedom on the other side...

My urge to runaway is high. I want to stay in what I know, it is comfortable even if it is not what is best for me. I do not want to live in who God has created me to be, because it is scary and unknown. I want to live in a tent in the woods avoiding human interaction and the changes that come along with these growing pains.

When healing hurts, it is confusing... We spend so much time avoiding pain, but the pain that comes with healing and change is necessary and shouldn't be avoided. I guess all of this proves that with my physical healing from surgery that I cannot avoid should be the same approach that I should take with my emotional healing. I cannot make my physical healing stop. It is doing what my body was made to do. Cells are regenerating, incisions are closing, pain is receding. I suppose I should apply the same to my heart... Let healing take place on the plan God has clearly set before me.