Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Bill Gaither
Over the past decade or so, I have received a fair deal of good natured ribbing about my love of Bill Gaither and his music. I know that it is not typical for someone of my age to enjoy his music; however, without his music I can honestly say I do not know where I would be. There have been many times that Bill has pulled me through a dark night. The DVD the Best of Sue Dodge was watched multiple times during several hospital stays. The Best of Guy Penrod has calmed me when I was worried. The Israel Homecoming has giving me hope when nothing else really did... I love Bill Gaither and his music. Plain and simple.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
God of Angel Armies
This new Chris Tomlin song is all I have for today.
Verse 1:
You hear me when I call You are my morning song Though darkness fills the night It cannot hide the light
Whom shall I fear?
Verse 2:
You crush the enemy Underneath my feet You are my Sword and Shield Though trouble lingers still
Whom shall I fear?
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side
Verse 3:
My strength is in Your name For You alone can save You will deliver me Yours is the victory
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side [ The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side
Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?
Bridge:
And nothing formed against me shall stand You hold the whole world in your hands I'm holding onto Your promises You are faithful You are faithful You are faithful
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side
Outro:
The God of angel armies is always by my side
Verse 1:
You hear me when I call You are my morning song Though darkness fills the night It cannot hide the light
Whom shall I fear?
Verse 2:
You crush the enemy Underneath my feet You are my Sword and Shield Though trouble lingers still
Whom shall I fear?
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side
Verse 3:
My strength is in Your name For You alone can save You will deliver me Yours is the victory
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side [ The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side
Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?
Bridge:
And nothing formed against me shall stand You hold the whole world in your hands I'm holding onto Your promises You are faithful You are faithful You are faithful
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side
Chorus:
I know Who goes before me I know Who stands behind The God of angel armies Is always on my side The One who reigns forever He is a Friend of mine The God of angel armies Is always by my side
Outro:
The God of angel armies is always by my side
Monday, January 28, 2013
Women in Ministry
There is only one place in all of scripture that says women
should not teach men. Paul said this to a particular group in a
particular context. Paul in other places encouraged women in ministry.
Of course the Epistles are not the only place where we see women heavily
involved in the leadership of the Hebrew people or early Christian
Church. But let’s begin with Paul, since the only argument against women
in ministry comes from his quill.
How is it that Paul has such a bad reputation for discouraging women to preach or teach? Paul did not have a low opinion of women, nor did he strictly forbid them from being leaders in the church, even speaking from the pulpit.
Paul mentions women in his greetings in many books. Apphia is the only one mentioned in the initial greeting, but MANY other women are mentioned in his farewell greetings. From these greetings we can clearly see that Paul was a man who loved and valued women ministers. Anyone who says otherwise is proof-texting twelve Greek words out of the thousands he wrote (nearly 1/3 of the New Testament).
Perhaps we should dive into one of Paul’s best known books, Romans. In his closing, Paul mentions no less than ten women. Phoebe heads up this list. It is believed that she delivered the letter to the Roman Church. Rather than simply introduce her, Paul gives her a recommendation. Paul calls her “our sister” and tells the people of the Roman Church that Phoebe is a minister of part of the Corinth Church. They are asked to welcome her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints and to provide her with whatever assistance she needs. He also tells them that Phoebe is a leader or benefactor of many people, Paul included. Second in the list that we can find in Romans is Priscilla. Priscilla had traveled with Paul along with her husband. Paul praises Priscilla for risking her life for him and the ministry. Priscilla was very well known in the early Church and her ministry was appreciated by many. By Romans 16:7 Paul is greeting Junia who had suffered for her faith, been imprisoned with Paul and been a Christian longer than Paul. Paul calls her “outstanding among the apostles.” Other women mentioned just in this book are Mary, Tryphena, Tryphosa and Persis. Paul writes that these women worked very hard for their Lord and the Church. He calls them beloved servants of the One whom I serve. It doesn’t sound like they are making coffee and handing out donuts. No, they are preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Julia and Nereus’ sister are also sent personal greetings at the end of the letter to the Romans. Each of these ten women were active in Christian ministry.
Moving on from Romans… how about 2 Timothy? Paul passes greetings to a woman named Claudia. Claudia had been taken captive for the cause of Christ. She was an upper-class woman who was attracted to Christianity then used her influence and wealth to further the Church. Paul also talks once again of Priscilla in 2 Timothy. Lois and Eunice were mentioned in 2 Timothy as well. Paul commended them for their work in the church and their raising of Timothy.
Anyone who has truly researched the topic of women in ministry is familiar with 1 Corinthians 14. In this interesting chapter it seems as if Paul is saying both for women to be silent and for them to speak. What we fail to see in the early part of chapter 14 is Paul is quoting a letter he had received from one of the church leaders. Paul clearly states that he did not have a problem with godly, well-behaved women speaking, praying, or prophesying aloud in church meetings or being the head of house churches. Near the end of Corinthians, Paul once again sends a warm greeting to Priscilla, who at this point was leading a home church.
Paul closes his letter to the Colossians with personal comments and greetings, as he typically did. We find out in these comments that the leader of the church at Colossae was a woman named Nympha and the church met in her home.
Philemon mentions a woman Apphia who was a soldier for Christ and had a church meeting in her home. Philippians has two women overseers or deacons: Euodia and Syntyche. Paul describes the ministry of this two in the same terms he had previously applied to Timothy and Epaphroditus in the same letter. However, these two were not the most important women in Philippi, Lydia was the first pastor of the church there.
Paul has been seriously misunderstood and grossly misquoted over time. The verses in question clearly have local and limited application. They were not meant to be universal or timeless. This is evidenced by the fact that Paul himself valued godly, capable women ministers and that he did not seem to think that any ministry was off limits to them. The sheer number of verses about actual New Testament women pastors and leaders FAR outweigh the few verses that have been used to silence women. This is without even touching on the Old Testament women in ministry or other New Testament writers than Paul.
How dare anyone else to tell me what I can or cannot be called to because I was born a woman! People would be outraged if I told a little girl she couldn't be a doctor, lawyer or police officer because she was a girl. People have the audacity to tell me to read the Bible; guess what, I have a degree in it. There are those who confident that Bible forbids women being called to ministry. To that I say show me and what else does the Bible "forbid?" Eating pork, shrimp, and mixed grains, wearing two types of material at once, wearing pants or going without a prayer covering, cutting your hair, divorce, eating fat... and many more things. The Bible even says that a rape victim is to marry her rapist. These were said to a particular time and a context. As were the few words you choose to use against me and other women called to the pulpit.
I wish that the church worldwide would love, trust and listen to their women, and recognize that women have many ministry gifts. It is time for people in the church to stop suppressing and silencing women and start embracing equality.
How is it that Paul has such a bad reputation for discouraging women to preach or teach? Paul did not have a low opinion of women, nor did he strictly forbid them from being leaders in the church, even speaking from the pulpit.
Paul mentions women in his greetings in many books. Apphia is the only one mentioned in the initial greeting, but MANY other women are mentioned in his farewell greetings. From these greetings we can clearly see that Paul was a man who loved and valued women ministers. Anyone who says otherwise is proof-texting twelve Greek words out of the thousands he wrote (nearly 1/3 of the New Testament).
Perhaps we should dive into one of Paul’s best known books, Romans. In his closing, Paul mentions no less than ten women. Phoebe heads up this list. It is believed that she delivered the letter to the Roman Church. Rather than simply introduce her, Paul gives her a recommendation. Paul calls her “our sister” and tells the people of the Roman Church that Phoebe is a minister of part of the Corinth Church. They are asked to welcome her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints and to provide her with whatever assistance she needs. He also tells them that Phoebe is a leader or benefactor of many people, Paul included. Second in the list that we can find in Romans is Priscilla. Priscilla had traveled with Paul along with her husband. Paul praises Priscilla for risking her life for him and the ministry. Priscilla was very well known in the early Church and her ministry was appreciated by many. By Romans 16:7 Paul is greeting Junia who had suffered for her faith, been imprisoned with Paul and been a Christian longer than Paul. Paul calls her “outstanding among the apostles.” Other women mentioned just in this book are Mary, Tryphena, Tryphosa and Persis. Paul writes that these women worked very hard for their Lord and the Church. He calls them beloved servants of the One whom I serve. It doesn’t sound like they are making coffee and handing out donuts. No, they are preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Julia and Nereus’ sister are also sent personal greetings at the end of the letter to the Romans. Each of these ten women were active in Christian ministry.
Moving on from Romans… how about 2 Timothy? Paul passes greetings to a woman named Claudia. Claudia had been taken captive for the cause of Christ. She was an upper-class woman who was attracted to Christianity then used her influence and wealth to further the Church. Paul also talks once again of Priscilla in 2 Timothy. Lois and Eunice were mentioned in 2 Timothy as well. Paul commended them for their work in the church and their raising of Timothy.
Anyone who has truly researched the topic of women in ministry is familiar with 1 Corinthians 14. In this interesting chapter it seems as if Paul is saying both for women to be silent and for them to speak. What we fail to see in the early part of chapter 14 is Paul is quoting a letter he had received from one of the church leaders. Paul clearly states that he did not have a problem with godly, well-behaved women speaking, praying, or prophesying aloud in church meetings or being the head of house churches. Near the end of Corinthians, Paul once again sends a warm greeting to Priscilla, who at this point was leading a home church.
Paul closes his letter to the Colossians with personal comments and greetings, as he typically did. We find out in these comments that the leader of the church at Colossae was a woman named Nympha and the church met in her home.
Philemon mentions a woman Apphia who was a soldier for Christ and had a church meeting in her home. Philippians has two women overseers or deacons: Euodia and Syntyche. Paul describes the ministry of this two in the same terms he had previously applied to Timothy and Epaphroditus in the same letter. However, these two were not the most important women in Philippi, Lydia was the first pastor of the church there.
Paul has been seriously misunderstood and grossly misquoted over time. The verses in question clearly have local and limited application. They were not meant to be universal or timeless. This is evidenced by the fact that Paul himself valued godly, capable women ministers and that he did not seem to think that any ministry was off limits to them. The sheer number of verses about actual New Testament women pastors and leaders FAR outweigh the few verses that have been used to silence women. This is without even touching on the Old Testament women in ministry or other New Testament writers than Paul.
How dare anyone else to tell me what I can or cannot be called to because I was born a woman! People would be outraged if I told a little girl she couldn't be a doctor, lawyer or police officer because she was a girl. People have the audacity to tell me to read the Bible; guess what, I have a degree in it. There are those who confident that Bible forbids women being called to ministry. To that I say show me and what else does the Bible "forbid?" Eating pork, shrimp, and mixed grains, wearing two types of material at once, wearing pants or going without a prayer covering, cutting your hair, divorce, eating fat... and many more things. The Bible even says that a rape victim is to marry her rapist. These were said to a particular time and a context. As were the few words you choose to use against me and other women called to the pulpit.
I wish that the church worldwide would love, trust and listen to their women, and recognize that women have many ministry gifts. It is time for people in the church to stop suppressing and silencing women and start embracing equality.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Bullying
We have been having some trouble with bullying and cyber-bullying where I work. I am shocked and appalled at the behavior of these kids. I honestly believed that they were better people than this. But the bottom line is words hurt. Words can do irrevocable damage. Some studies suggest that 9 out of 10 teenage suicide victims were also victims of bullying. This is a serious problem and I am heartbroken over it.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Sacrifice
Last night's Bible study was about sacrificing (kind of). What do we need to give up in order to say yes to God. These things may not be particularly sinful, but may just be a distraction. Lysa's example was TV. Watching TV is not a sin, but she was filling herself with TV when she was at her emptiest moments of the day. What do I fill myself with when I am empty? This question forces me to take a good, hard look at myself and my desires. What do I need to give up for a season or permanently to grow closer to God? What do I need to sacrifice to make me a better person, follower of Christ and to be a woman that says yes to God?
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Weakness
I read something interesting today, "We don't become holy by matching up our strengths to God's. We match up our weakness to His strength and our failure to His holiness, so that our lives may reflect His righteousness an glory." Just something to think about, I guess.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Be Near
I have been reciting Shane and Shane's song Be Near for about twenty-four hours straight now...
You are all
big and small
beautiful
and wonderful
to trust in grace through faith
but i'm asking to taste...
for dark is light to You
depths are height to You
far is near
but Lord, i need to hear from You
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good
Your fullness is mine
revelation divine
but, o, to taste
to know much more than a page
to feel Your embrace...
for dark is light to You
the depths are height to You
far is near, but Lord
i need to hear from You
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good
You are all
big and small
beautiful
and wonderful
to trust in grace through faith
but i'm asking to taste...
for dark is light to You
depths are height to You
far is near
but Lord, i need to hear from You
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good
Your fullness is mine
revelation divine
but, o, to taste
to know much more than a page
to feel Your embrace...
for dark is light to You
the depths are height to You
far is near, but Lord
i need to hear from You
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
be near, oh God
be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good
Monday, January 21, 2013
Beauty of Brokenness
Yesterday at church my friend Amy did the offertory music; she chose to sing "Hungry." I had quite a reaction. The combination of her beautiful voice and the profound words touched me deeply. The verse that really struck a chord with me goes like this:
Broken, I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary, but I know
Your touch restores my life
I can't explain why I felt what I did. Or how it affected me... All I can say is that there is something about brokenness that is beautiful. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it sucks. However, scripture reminds us continually that brokenness is not a bad thing. Psalm 51 says that God will not despise a broken and contrite heart. Psalm 34 tells us that God is near the brokenhearted. Isaiah 61 promises that we will receive beauty for ashes and joy instead of mourning. Do I hate how broken I am right now? Yes! Unequivocally, yes! Do I hope beyond all measure that this is going to bring some healing? Also, yes!
Broken, I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary, but I know
Your touch restores my life
I can't explain why I felt what I did. Or how it affected me... All I can say is that there is something about brokenness that is beautiful. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it sucks. However, scripture reminds us continually that brokenness is not a bad thing. Psalm 51 says that God will not despise a broken and contrite heart. Psalm 34 tells us that God is near the brokenhearted. Isaiah 61 promises that we will receive beauty for ashes and joy instead of mourning. Do I hate how broken I am right now? Yes! Unequivocally, yes! Do I hope beyond all measure that this is going to bring some healing? Also, yes!
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Fighting for What You Love
I saw a quote this morning that said, "Life is about fighting for what you love, and for me that is you." This is a nice sentiment, but it really isn't how life goes. You can fight and fight and then fight some more for someone you love and because they don't love you back, it will only end up making them mad. Once they are mad you have just created more of a rift between you.... I wish that I could fight for someone that I love, but time and space is what is needed. I still love that person more than anyone could ever know. That individual saved my life... yet, love is not enough any more.
I cannot fight for their love. I need to fight for the One who first loved me. I need to fight for myself, for my freedom, for my healing... I hate this realization.
I cannot fight for their love. I need to fight for the One who first loved me. I need to fight for myself, for my freedom, for my healing... I hate this realization.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Legalism
This morning I was not feeling particularly motivated, so I asked a colleague (that I know reads this) what to write about. She responded "legalism." I told her that may not be the best topic for me to write about. I am a bit of a legalistic person. I like things to be done the right way. I love knowing there are clear cut rules and expectations. I am probably one of the only people who have ever read denominational books of discipline for fun.
In the book Holiness for Ordinary People, Dr. Drury gives a list of things that keep people from true holiness. There are two that I definitely have a tendency to lean towards. I lean more heavily towards Holiness Creedalism (which I have already written about here and here) but I also find myself in a legalistic camp frequently. Legalism is an over-emphasis on discipline of conduct. This, unfortunately, typically leads to right actions and a wrong heart. Legalism leads to a neglect of mercy, an intolerance for true grace and a minimal understanding of real redemption. As much as I like rules and order, I would much prefer grace, mercy and redemption to the full.
In the book Holiness for Ordinary People, Dr. Drury gives a list of things that keep people from true holiness. There are two that I definitely have a tendency to lean towards. I lean more heavily towards Holiness Creedalism (which I have already written about here and here) but I also find myself in a legalistic camp frequently. Legalism is an over-emphasis on discipline of conduct. This, unfortunately, typically leads to right actions and a wrong heart. Legalism leads to a neglect of mercy, an intolerance for true grace and a minimal understanding of real redemption. As much as I like rules and order, I would much prefer grace, mercy and redemption to the full.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
O for a Thousand Tongues to Sing
O for a Thousand Tongues to Sing was Charles Wesley's first hymn that he penned. He wrote it on the one year anniversary of his full salvation. The version we sing now is pitifully condensed compared to the 18 verses Wesley wrote. These are not in the original order; however, here is Wesley's hymn in full:
1. O for a thou sand tongues to sing My great Redeemer’s praise, The glories of my God and King, The triumphs of His grace!
2. My gracious Master and my God, Assist me to pro claim, To spread through all the earth a broad The honors of Thy name.
3. Jesus! the name that charms our fears, That bids our sorrows cease; ’Tis mu sic in the sinner’s ears, ’Tis life, and health, and peace.
4. He breaks the pow’r of canceled sin, He sets the prisoner free; His blood can make the foul est clean, His blood availed for me.
5. He speaks, and, listening to His voice, New life the dead receive, The mournful, broken hearts rejoice, The humble poor believe.
6. Hear Him, ye deaf; His praise, ye dumb, Your loosened tongues employ; Ye blind, behold your Savior come, and leap, ye lame, for joy.
7. In Christ your Head, you then shall know, Shall feel your sins forgiven; Anticipate your heaven below, and own that love is heaven.
8. Glory to God, and praise and love be ever, ever given, by saints below and saints above, the church in earth and haven.
9. On this glad day the glorious sun of righteousness arose; on my benighted soul He shone and filled it with repose.
10. Sudden expired the legal strife, 'twas then I ceased to grieve; my second, real, living life I then began to live.
11. Then with my heart I first believed, believed with faith divine, power with the Holy Ghost received to call the Savior mine.
12. I felt my Lord's atoning blood close to my soul applied; me, me he loved, the Son of God, for me, for me He died!
13. I found and owned His promise true, ascertained of my part, my pardon passed in heave I knew when written on my heart.
14. Look unto Him, ye nations, own your God, ye fallen race; look, and be saved through faith alone be justified by grace.
15. See all your sins on Jesus laid; The lame of God was slain, his soul was once an offering made for every soul of man.
16. Awake from guilty nature's sleep, and Christ shall give you light, cast all your sins into the deep and wash all them white.
17. Murders and all ye hellish crew, ye sons of lust and pride, believe the Savior died for you; for the me the Savior died.
18. With me, your chief, ye then shall know, shall feel your sins forgiven; anticipate you heaven above, and own that love is heaven.
1. O for a thou sand tongues to sing My great Redeemer’s praise, The glories of my God and King, The triumphs of His grace!
2. My gracious Master and my God, Assist me to pro claim, To spread through all the earth a broad The honors of Thy name.
3. Jesus! the name that charms our fears, That bids our sorrows cease; ’Tis mu sic in the sinner’s ears, ’Tis life, and health, and peace.
4. He breaks the pow’r of canceled sin, He sets the prisoner free; His blood can make the foul est clean, His blood availed for me.
5. He speaks, and, listening to His voice, New life the dead receive, The mournful, broken hearts rejoice, The humble poor believe.
6. Hear Him, ye deaf; His praise, ye dumb, Your loosened tongues employ; Ye blind, behold your Savior come, and leap, ye lame, for joy.
7. In Christ your Head, you then shall know, Shall feel your sins forgiven; Anticipate your heaven below, and own that love is heaven.
8. Glory to God, and praise and love be ever, ever given, by saints below and saints above, the church in earth and haven.
9. On this glad day the glorious sun of righteousness arose; on my benighted soul He shone and filled it with repose.
10. Sudden expired the legal strife, 'twas then I ceased to grieve; my second, real, living life I then began to live.
11. Then with my heart I first believed, believed with faith divine, power with the Holy Ghost received to call the Savior mine.
12. I felt my Lord's atoning blood close to my soul applied; me, me he loved, the Son of God, for me, for me He died!
13. I found and owned His promise true, ascertained of my part, my pardon passed in heave I knew when written on my heart.
14. Look unto Him, ye nations, own your God, ye fallen race; look, and be saved through faith alone be justified by grace.
15. See all your sins on Jesus laid; The lame of God was slain, his soul was once an offering made for every soul of man.
16. Awake from guilty nature's sleep, and Christ shall give you light, cast all your sins into the deep and wash all them white.
17. Murders and all ye hellish crew, ye sons of lust and pride, believe the Savior died for you; for the me the Savior died.
18. With me, your chief, ye then shall know, shall feel your sins forgiven; anticipate you heaven above, and own that love is heaven.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
John 10:10
I know that I have been talking about John a lot and even John 10:10 specifically frequently. However, it seems like everywhere I look the message of John 10:10 is there: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." In my devotion this morning it was there. I read a friend's blog and it was there. It is brought to the front of my mind during songs and conversations. What does it mean to have abundant life? Why is the thief so strong? Why does he want to steal, kill and destroy me? How do I attain abundant life?
Monday, January 14, 2013
Isaiah 61
I have been thinking last night and this morning about the words of the prophet Isaiah. In chapter 61 he is talking about the Messiah when he says:
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor."
I feel awfully broken. I feel, very distinctly, the chains of my captivity in the form of pain from the past. I feel shrouded in darkness. I mourn not only what has happened but the person that I am because of those events. I mourn the fact that I am skeptical of people and that I guard my heart too much. I grieve the things that I lost because of other people's decisions and my own sin. I mourn over the churches I have left in worse shape than they were given to me. I grieve the person that I could have become had life been different.
I am ready for beauty instead of ashes. I would love joy instead of sadness. I want a garment of praise instead of one of despair and depression. I want to be an oak of righteousness. I see all too clearly my own inadequacy and failure. I want to be set free. The only way to be free is to trust the Healer... to trust that He can and will set me free. That He will redeem the pain of the past; that he wants to make me whole. I wish it was easy and that there was a laid out plan for me to follow; however, this journey takes time and it sometimes is rocky.
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor."
I feel awfully broken. I feel, very distinctly, the chains of my captivity in the form of pain from the past. I feel shrouded in darkness. I mourn not only what has happened but the person that I am because of those events. I mourn the fact that I am skeptical of people and that I guard my heart too much. I grieve the things that I lost because of other people's decisions and my own sin. I mourn over the churches I have left in worse shape than they were given to me. I grieve the person that I could have become had life been different.
I am ready for beauty instead of ashes. I would love joy instead of sadness. I want a garment of praise instead of one of despair and depression. I want to be an oak of righteousness. I see all too clearly my own inadequacy and failure. I want to be set free. The only way to be free is to trust the Healer... to trust that He can and will set me free. That He will redeem the pain of the past; that he wants to make me whole. I wish it was easy and that there was a laid out plan for me to follow; however, this journey takes time and it sometimes is rocky.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Not Good Enough
How many messages in life boil down to "you're not good enough?" How many life experiences leave us feeling like less than nothing? That we will never be good enough? That we have nothing to offer the world?
No, this is not uplifting, but I think we can all see where I am at. But I am confident that I am not alone in this fight for believing that I am worth something.
No, this is not uplifting, but I think we can all see where I am at. But I am confident that I am not alone in this fight for believing that I am worth something.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Jacob's Lies
This morning my educational mentor asked me a religious question that honestly stumped me to some degree. She wanted to know why God blessed Jacob even after he lied to get the birthright. It is a great question. Jacob finagled Esau out of his birthright and lied directly to his father to get what he wanted (at the encouragement of his mother). It is easy to see that God did eventually bless Jacob, but it wasn't without some punishment for his actions.
Jacob was separated from his mother which was a real punishment for him. They loved each other deeply and spent a lot of time together prior to the sins they committed. Jacob was broken (literary) by God. God had been spiritually wrestling with Jacob for twenty years after he betrayed his brother before He wrestled with him at Peniel. God struck Jacob's hip socket so his femur would dislocate. This is one of the strongest places in the body and that is where God brought Jacob to his knees. Scripture clearly states that Jacob never walked the same again. God waited 20 years while Jacob was hiding, running, and still living a lie before asking him who he was after the wrestling match... but the question still remains: Why did God bless Jacob?
I think the answer comes in several parts. One, he was alone with God. Two he hungered for God. Jacob cried out, "I will not leave you until you bless me." Three, He was finally honest with God... The Lord asked him what his name was and initially he responded that he was Esau. Then God asked again, to which Jacob replied, "I am Jacob- a grabber, deceiver and bargainer." He repents for his actions. And God responds to his contrition with these words, "From this day on your name will not longer be Jacob, but Israel because you have wrestled with God and with man and you have overcome."
I think this shows several things... there are consequences of every action and God will redeem those who truly repent. Jacob went from the place where he wrestled God to become the father of 12 tribes.
Jacob was separated from his mother which was a real punishment for him. They loved each other deeply and spent a lot of time together prior to the sins they committed. Jacob was broken (literary) by God. God had been spiritually wrestling with Jacob for twenty years after he betrayed his brother before He wrestled with him at Peniel. God struck Jacob's hip socket so his femur would dislocate. This is one of the strongest places in the body and that is where God brought Jacob to his knees. Scripture clearly states that Jacob never walked the same again. God waited 20 years while Jacob was hiding, running, and still living a lie before asking him who he was after the wrestling match... but the question still remains: Why did God bless Jacob?
I think the answer comes in several parts. One, he was alone with God. Two he hungered for God. Jacob cried out, "I will not leave you until you bless me." Three, He was finally honest with God... The Lord asked him what his name was and initially he responded that he was Esau. Then God asked again, to which Jacob replied, "I am Jacob- a grabber, deceiver and bargainer." He repents for his actions. And God responds to his contrition with these words, "From this day on your name will not longer be Jacob, but Israel because you have wrestled with God and with man and you have overcome."
I think this shows several things... there are consequences of every action and God will redeem those who truly repent. Jacob went from the place where he wrestled God to become the father of 12 tribes.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Common Prayer
Most people my age aren't really big fans of liturgy; I, however, love liturgy. I think liturgy takes to the past so we can move to the future. I started reading the Book of Common Prayer this morning. It is quite enlightening. One line has really struck me today, "In our lives and in our prayers: may your kingdom come." Often times I find myself telling God what I think needs to happen... praying for health, peace, finances, et cetera. But very rarely do I truly say and mean whatever your kingdom needs let it be so. Challenged by one simple statement to keep my will in submission to the greater good of the kingdom.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Bleh
I honestly do not feel like writing anything today. Yesterday was a very difficult day for me and today I just feel kinda bleh. I feel the draw towards apathy and quitting very strongly right now. I also feel quite alone, tired and frustrated. I realize that circumstances are challenging my attitude and frankly my faith right now. I also know that it is not really about my outside circumstances that I face. But knowing that intellectually does not help my feelings right now.
I can even tell you at a knowledge based level that I believe that Christ wants to touch me with the power of the Holy Spirit and restore me today. I know that He is there to help me have a supernatural recovery of my mind and emotions. God says many times that he will restore us. Today in the midst of the bleh, I have to try to focus on God's promise to restore me.
I can even tell you at a knowledge based level that I believe that Christ wants to touch me with the power of the Holy Spirit and restore me today. I know that He is there to help me have a supernatural recovery of my mind and emotions. God says many times that he will restore us. Today in the midst of the bleh, I have to try to focus on God's promise to restore me.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Measuring Up
There is a lot of pressure in this world to measure up- to have the right stuff, look the right way, be the best in our field and so on. I expect excellence from myself, especially academically and at my job. Therefore, it is particularly hard on me when I do not feel like I am measuring up in those arenas.
Yesterday I was reading some Wesleyan church history and I came across a phrase that made me wonder how I am measuring up in my commitment to the cause of Christ. "The weather is so bad that nothing's stirring except made dogs and Methodist preachers." Am I willing to go out into a world of measuring up, bad weather and opposition to spread the Gospel? This made me really start to question: What does the Lord require of me? As humans, we tend to put a lot of demands on ourselves and each other about what God requires. We want people to act perfectly and never say or do anything mean. That is not going to happen. So what truly does the Lord require of me? Micah 6:8 gives me the answer: "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?" That is enough to keep anyone busy without a long list of rules to measure up to.
Yesterday I was reading some Wesleyan church history and I came across a phrase that made me wonder how I am measuring up in my commitment to the cause of Christ. "The weather is so bad that nothing's stirring except made dogs and Methodist preachers." Am I willing to go out into a world of measuring up, bad weather and opposition to spread the Gospel? This made me really start to question: What does the Lord require of me? As humans, we tend to put a lot of demands on ourselves and each other about what God requires. We want people to act perfectly and never say or do anything mean. That is not going to happen. So what truly does the Lord require of me? Micah 6:8 gives me the answer: "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?" That is enough to keep anyone busy without a long list of rules to measure up to.
Monday, January 7, 2013
John 14
John is my favorite book of the Bible. If I had to have only one book, John would be it. John 14:27 says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." There are many things in the world that can leave my heart feeling troubled or afraid. Yet, Jesus says "peace I give you." The author and perfecter of my faith is also the only true source of peace in a troubling world. So as my heart and mind begin to wander, I pray that the Source of peace brings my heart back to the stillness and comfort of relying on Him.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Epiphany
Well, today is the 12th and final day of Christmas. That is right it is Epiphany and we celebrate the wise men coming to see the King of Kings and for their realization of who he was. So Happy Epiphany!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Fear
After being sick for as long as I have was... I find myself fearful of every twinge, stomach ache or weird feeling. I know that this is not trusting God, because scripture says that perfect love (and the only source of perfect love is God) drives out fear. I should not be afraid of a health set-back. He faithfully saw me through everything so far. I need to learn how to trust and not fear.
Friday, January 4, 2013
The Thief
My friend Reba posted part of John 10 on Facebook this morning, "The thief does not come except to steal, and
to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that
they may have it more abundantly." We have a real enemy. His only job is to kill, steal and destroy. We have also been offered life and life abundantly from the source of Life. This world is a battle ground. It isn't land that is at stake; it is our very souls. I can feel the war waging all around me. I can feel the enemy trying to come in and steal what the Holy Spirit is doing in me. I must remain in the Life.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
A Potato Farmer
Last night my small group met at a local coffee house for games and conversation. It was so much fun. In the game Mad Lib I do not excel. My friend Amy and I spent an entire round trying to guess "A Potato Farmer" to know avail. I have never laughed as much or as hard as I did last night. It is truly a blessing to have Godly friends. I pray that each of you enjoys the people who God has put in your life.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Five Practices Part 1
While I was pastoring we went through a book by Robert Schnase, Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations. I believe that those five practices also make for fruitful lives, not just congregations. Today I am going to reflect on Radical Hospitality. People who demonstrate radical hospitality desire to invite, welcome, receive, feed and care for friends, family and even strangers in their home. They want people to experience the unending love of Christ through their physical actions. We all know one of these people; they love entertaining at their home. They want to feed you and make you feel welcome. Hospitality is definitely a gift and is much easier for those who have the gift. However, I think we should all try to be more welcoming, even if that is just in conversation. Hospitality can start with a friendly conversation over coffee to let someone know that you truly care. Jesus told followers in Matthew 25 that when they did something to the least of these they did it to him. Maybe the least of these in our lives needs a mug of tea and a genuine "How are you?"
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Hello 2013
Happy New Year! I welcome 2013 with my whole heart. I am looking forward to many things in 2013. I am looking forward to starting (and finishing) another semester a Whitko High School... hopefully twice this spring and next fall. I am looking forward to birthdays, especially Bennett's first and not particularly my own. I am excited to get more involved at church. I am eager to see what God will do this year.
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