Unfortunately, for me, sometimes God asks me to share things that I don't necessarily feel ready to share. I recently came across the song "Hurt by Hurt" sung by Sonya Isaacs:
Nobody saw it; nobody noticed
Just how it started
Wounds that were silent
Wordless and cruel tore me apart
Nobody saw how I died
How I died inch by inch on the inside
Hurt by hurt the painful memories waited in line
Hurt by hurt I built a wall one hurt at a time
Gentle as raindrops
Welcome as morning after the darkness
Without warning love broke right through
Invading my heart you walked hurt by hurt
Through my past and melted the barriers at last
Hurt by hurt the painful memories waited in line
Hurt by hurt you healed them all one hurt at a time
I praise your name
So glad you came
Oh, Jesus what would I be without you
You healed hurt by hurt
Hurt by hurt the painful memories waited in line
Hurt by hurt you healed them all one hurt at a time
Hurt by hurt, Lord, please heal them one hurt at a time
This song reaches a part of me I would rather not know is there, let alone discuss with you. I spent many years building walls around the very essence of who I am. Each brick of these walls was a hurt. And hurt by hurt I had a pretty sweet fortress. At one point I even made a physical representation of this hurt and these walls.
As you can see, I even built myself an inner fortress of solitude, and completed the overall "stay out of my life" look with ninjas, a dragon, some alligators and a moat. You could say that I was fairly comfortable with my self-imposed prison of hurt bricks. Several years ago, the castle started to crumble at the work of the Holy Spirit. It has been hard and scary and it is still a process. I have to remind myself not to let minor things and even some major things reconstruct walls that have been eliminated. Some of my painful memories are still waiting in line to be healed one hurt at a time. However, I am sure that the One who began this good work in me will be faithful to see it to its completion.
He is faithful. Thank you for sharing your heart. I am so thankful for you and our friendship. Thank you for loving me and speaking truth to me and just living life with me.
ReplyDeleteHe is faithful and man am I glad that he is! I am so happy that we are friends. Sharing my heart was His idea not mine but you are welcome. Looking forward to the next few months of serving together.
DeleteYou see an inner fortress but I see the holy of holies. God's presence resides in our innermost hurts and he tears down the curtains that protect the walls that attempt to limit who He is.
ReplyDeleteThat it is an interesting point. I had never viewed it from that perspective.
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