It may seem a little early for the name Emmanuel, because, if you are anything like me, it brings Christmas to the forefront of the thought process. Isaiah 7 or Matthew 1 pops to my head which are traditionally an Advent texts. However, the name Emmanuel has been on my heart and mind a lot this week. Emmanuel is more than a name; it is a promise. God with us. Emmanuel does not mean God was with us, but it is in the present tense always: God (is always) with us.
In the valley, through the storm, in the midst of doubt God is still Emmanuel. During doctor's visits, at school, holding my beautiful nephew God is still Emmanuel. In the spring, during the summer, as we walk through fall and roll through winter God is still Emmanuel. Through the dark and in the light Emmanuel is still there.
There are a lot of things that I struggle with in the walk towards the heart of Christ, but God's omnipresence is not one of them. I believe theologically that God is indeed Emmanuel at all times, in all places. However, what I have a hard time with is feeling it to be true and to be Him. There are moments that I know that I know that I know theologically that God HAS to be there; yet I cannot feel it to be true, I cannot sense His presence-- I feel alone. Then there are times that I want to be left alone and God's presence becomes all too real.
Today, I am going to try to rest in the knowledge that no matter what my Emmanuel is here.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Social Me
Social me is an app that analyzes your Facebook activities. (http://www.zeebly.com/social_me/27354/all3/41499fec252 is my analysis) I found this kind of interesting because it gives you a snap shot of what I find the most important or at least what I write my statuses about. As it turns out, I post statuses about Christianity, Education and Writing more than any other subjects. I had to pose the question is my "real" life matching up with my Facebook life. Do I talk about Christianity, Education and Writing a lot in my real life? This was actually quite a challenging question. If things are important enough to mention on Facebook, why do some things get left out of conversations that are face to face.
Facebook is a great way to stay connected, but it also has a way of presenting the life we want people to see. It is easy to hide by not posting and it is easy to air dirty laundry by over posting. It is also easy to post in the heat of the moment something that I would never say to someone's face. I feel very challenged to make my Facebook and real life match. For the most part they do, but I need to be more conscientious about posting things and saying things that are not edifying. I guess the real problem or bottom line here is that I feel like I am not always living up to the standards of excellence that I have in my own mind. Or the standards I believe I should as someone who professes Christ.
Facebook is a great way to stay connected, but it also has a way of presenting the life we want people to see. It is easy to hide by not posting and it is easy to air dirty laundry by over posting. It is also easy to post in the heat of the moment something that I would never say to someone's face. I feel very challenged to make my Facebook and real life match. For the most part they do, but I need to be more conscientious about posting things and saying things that are not edifying. I guess the real problem or bottom line here is that I feel like I am not always living up to the standards of excellence that I have in my own mind. Or the standards I believe I should as someone who professes Christ.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Fairest Lord Jesus
Hymns have a very special place in my heart. I love the melodies, harmonies and theology they contain. I often have piano music playing in the background of my classes because it calms people down and makes my day more enjoyable. Just now, as I was contemplating what to write, Pandora began to play Fernado Ortega's instrumental version of Fairest Lord Jesus it is beautiful.
As beautiful as the music was, it got me thinking of the lyrics:
1. Fairest Lord Jesus, ruler of all nature, O thou of God and man the Son, Thee will I cherish, Thee will I honor, thou, my soul's glory, joy, and crown.
2. Fair are the meadows, fairer still the woodlands, robed in the blooming garb of spring: Jesus is fairer, Jesus is purer who makes the woeful heart to sing.
3. Fair is the sunshine, fairer still the moonlight, and all the twinkling starry host: Jesus shines brighter, Jesus shines purer than all the angels heaven can boast.
4. Beautiful Savior! Lord of all the nations! Son of God and Son of Man! Glory and honor, praise, adoration, now and forevermore be thine.
I especially like the last verse. What a good way to start my work day!
As beautiful as the music was, it got me thinking of the lyrics:
1. Fairest Lord Jesus, ruler of all nature, O thou of God and man the Son, Thee will I cherish, Thee will I honor, thou, my soul's glory, joy, and crown.
2. Fair are the meadows, fairer still the woodlands, robed in the blooming garb of spring: Jesus is fairer, Jesus is purer who makes the woeful heart to sing.
3. Fair is the sunshine, fairer still the moonlight, and all the twinkling starry host: Jesus shines brighter, Jesus shines purer than all the angels heaven can boast.
4. Beautiful Savior! Lord of all the nations! Son of God and Son of Man! Glory and honor, praise, adoration, now and forevermore be thine.
I especially like the last verse. What a good way to start my work day!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Rebuilding
"It is easier to build boys and girls than it is to repair men and women." Pastor Matt
I am in a season of repair and rebuilding. Something can be repaired but there are things in life that just have to be trashed and started over. There is a time to plant and a time to harvest. Right now we are in a planting season...
I am in a season of repair and rebuilding. Something can be repaired but there are things in life that just have to be trashed and started over. There is a time to plant and a time to harvest. Right now we are in a planting season...
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Lessons Learned from a Life Well Lived: A Tribute to BJ
Typically, I write about lessons I am struggling to learn or things that I am being convicted by. Today, however, I would like to talk about the lessons I learned from a life that was extraordinary.
Seven years ago I received a phone call in the middle of the night from Kim Mack. This phone call was to inform me that our good friend Lauren's little brother, BJ, had passed from this life into his eternal reward. Here is an excerpt from his father's blog, "BJ spent 5 weeks on a mission trip in Peru spreading the love of Jesus. A few weeks after returning home he was diagnosed with pneumonia, which quickly turned much more serious and became the lesser concern as an infection throughout his body was discovered. After six weeks of fighting, Beej finally got to go Home to be with Jesus on September 26th, 2005. Thank you for your prayers for BJ, and please continue unifying as God's children as we have seen throughout this God-glorifying situation!!" (please read more of their story at http://prayforbj.blogspot.com)
In the months and years after his passing the family has published a book about BJ's life, purpose, ministry and death- I Would Die For You. Here is what the back cover has to say:
BJ Higgins loved God with everything he had and worked passionately to bring God's love to the whole world. He believed in using the opportunities God gave him and boldly shared the gospel wherever he went. BJ's life on earth ended after a six-week battle with an infection contracted on the mission field.
He was just fifteen years old.
I Would Die for You tells the extraordinary story of an ordinary young man. BJ's journals and blogs, along with testimony from family and friends, reveal a young man whose short life left an impression on many--including Bart Millard, lead singer of Mercy Me, who wrote and recorded a song to honor him.
BJ put the cause of Christ above his own personal comfort. This powerful true story will amaze, inspire, and challenge you to live every day making a difference for God.
"How could someone who lived only a few years leave such an indelible heartprint on the world? This story is not for the faint of heart. Not only does it tell of an amazing young man but of the amazing God he served. Every parent and every student should read this book. When you do, you'll agree: BJ Higgins is this generation's Jim Elliot."--Dr. Walker Moore, president and founder, Awe Star Ministries; author, Rite of Passage Parenting and Rite of Passage Parenting Workbook
"There is a possibility that this life isn't going to just be a bed of roses from here on out. Are we willing to make a sacrifice for the kingdom? Because that's what BJ did. I may die of old age in my sleep and [my life would] not have as much meaning as BJ's life did. I Would Die for You is a challenge, a battle cry for all the body."--Bart Millard, lead singer, MercyMe"
MercyMe wrote a song based on BJ's life and ministry. This video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRNANk5rI2g shows pictures of BJ on the mission field with the MercyMe song in the background.
As I think about BJ's life, the strength of his resolve, the fortitude of his family, I am stunned by God's grace. BJ proved that you are never too young to have a voice, an impact, a story. Thank you Higgins family for sharing your son with the world.
Seven years ago I received a phone call in the middle of the night from Kim Mack. This phone call was to inform me that our good friend Lauren's little brother, BJ, had passed from this life into his eternal reward. Here is an excerpt from his father's blog, "BJ spent 5 weeks on a mission trip in Peru spreading the love of Jesus. A few weeks after returning home he was diagnosed with pneumonia, which quickly turned much more serious and became the lesser concern as an infection throughout his body was discovered. After six weeks of fighting, Beej finally got to go Home to be with Jesus on September 26th, 2005. Thank you for your prayers for BJ, and please continue unifying as God's children as we have seen throughout this God-glorifying situation!!" (please read more of their story at http://prayforbj.blogspot.com)
In the months and years after his passing the family has published a book about BJ's life, purpose, ministry and death- I Would Die For You. Here is what the back cover has to say:
"When was the last time you gave your all--for God?
BJ Higgins loved God with everything he had and worked passionately to bring God's love to the whole world. He believed in using the opportunities God gave him and boldly shared the gospel wherever he went. BJ's life on earth ended after a six-week battle with an infection contracted on the mission field.
He was just fifteen years old.
I Would Die for You tells the extraordinary story of an ordinary young man. BJ's journals and blogs, along with testimony from family and friends, reveal a young man whose short life left an impression on many--including Bart Millard, lead singer of Mercy Me, who wrote and recorded a song to honor him.
BJ put the cause of Christ above his own personal comfort. This powerful true story will amaze, inspire, and challenge you to live every day making a difference for God.
"How could someone who lived only a few years leave such an indelible heartprint on the world? This story is not for the faint of heart. Not only does it tell of an amazing young man but of the amazing God he served. Every parent and every student should read this book. When you do, you'll agree: BJ Higgins is this generation's Jim Elliot."--Dr. Walker Moore, president and founder, Awe Star Ministries; author, Rite of Passage Parenting and Rite of Passage Parenting Workbook
"There is a possibility that this life isn't going to just be a bed of roses from here on out. Are we willing to make a sacrifice for the kingdom? Because that's what BJ did. I may die of old age in my sleep and [my life would] not have as much meaning as BJ's life did. I Would Die for You is a challenge, a battle cry for all the body."--Bart Millard, lead singer, MercyMe"
MercyMe wrote a song based on BJ's life and ministry. This video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRNANk5rI2g shows pictures of BJ on the mission field with the MercyMe song in the background.
As I think about BJ's life, the strength of his resolve, the fortitude of his family, I am stunned by God's grace. BJ proved that you are never too young to have a voice, an impact, a story. Thank you Higgins family for sharing your son with the world.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Psalm 27
Earlier this morning I received a text from Dawn that simply said "Psalm 27." In my curiosity, I looked it up right then. Several things really stood out to me.
1The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold[a] of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?
1The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold[a] of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.
3 Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet[b] I will be confident.
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet[b] I will be confident.
4 One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire[c] in his temple.
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire[c] in his temple.
5 For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.
6 And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
8 You have said, “Seek[d] my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”[e]
9 Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.
be gracious to me and answer me!
8 You have said, “Seek[d] my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”[e]
9 Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
10 For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.
11 Teach me your way, O Lord,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
12 Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.
13 I believe[f] that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
I have absolutely nothing profound to say about this or add to this. It speaks volumes on its very own. I am praying that these things are at the forefront of my mind all day and that I rest in the Truth.
Monday, September 24, 2012
HALTT
As a child, I was taught in moments of frustration to HALTT and ask myself five questions:
- am I hungry?
-am I angry?
-am I lonely
-am I tired?
-am I the wrong temperature?
I was thinking about that last night before bed and again this morning. I came to the conclusion that these five questions also apply to spiritual frustration.
1. Hunger- Am I spiritually hungry and not being fed? Matthew 6:5, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." John 5:35, "Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst." The moments when I am most frustrated by religious stuff is when I am the farthest from God. My soul knows that it is hungry and it is reaching out in frustration to hopefully find food.
2. Angry- Am I angry or blaming God for my current circumstances? It is better to express anger with God than bottle it up. Job expressed his anger about his situation and circumstances, and God restored him. Jonah was mad and through his obedience an entire people group was saved.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 "Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools." I am often eager to be angry and throw in the towel. This, however, is not the prudent route.
3. Lonely- Do I feel like God is far away or absent completely? Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." God's promises never fail and they are always present to the believer. Psalm 46:1 reminds me "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."
4. Tired- Am I tired of the daily toil? Am I worn out at trying to be good? It is hard to be good. It is hard to care about doing what is right instead of just doing what is easy. Paul writes in several places reminding, And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.
5. Temperature- Is the temperature of my spiritual life where it needs to be? Revelation says that God prefers that I were hot or cold over lukewarm. Am I frustrated by my own lukewarm life?
- am I hungry?
-am I angry?
-am I lonely
-am I tired?
-am I the wrong temperature?
I was thinking about that last night before bed and again this morning. I came to the conclusion that these five questions also apply to spiritual frustration.
1. Hunger- Am I spiritually hungry and not being fed? Matthew 6:5, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." John 5:35, "Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst." The moments when I am most frustrated by religious stuff is when I am the farthest from God. My soul knows that it is hungry and it is reaching out in frustration to hopefully find food.
2. Angry- Am I angry or blaming God for my current circumstances? It is better to express anger with God than bottle it up. Job expressed his anger about his situation and circumstances, and God restored him. Jonah was mad and through his obedience an entire people group was saved.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 "Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools." I am often eager to be angry and throw in the towel. This, however, is not the prudent route.
3. Lonely- Do I feel like God is far away or absent completely? Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." God's promises never fail and they are always present to the believer. Psalm 46:1 reminds me "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."
4. Tired- Am I tired of the daily toil? Am I worn out at trying to be good? It is hard to be good. It is hard to care about doing what is right instead of just doing what is easy. Paul writes in several places reminding, And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.
5. Temperature- Is the temperature of my spiritual life where it needs to be? Revelation says that God prefers that I were hot or cold over lukewarm. Am I frustrated by my own lukewarm life?
Sunday, September 23, 2012
The Name: Teacher, Advocate and Comforter
This is a name for the Holy Spirit but also an attribute of the character of the Father. Who is this Comforter? He is the third person in the Trinity. He possesses all the attributes of the Godhead. He is all-knowing, all-powerful and everywhere.
We see the Holy Spirit as active in basically three ways as teacher, advocate and comforter. As the teacher he leads us in the knowledge salvation in Christ, our calling and all spiritual truth. He does not teach anything new. The Holy Spirit as Teacher writes truth upon our hearts through the Word and prayer.
We have an Advocate in the Holy Spirit. To the world he prompts people to fight for justice. Jesus said that he was going to send the Comforter to advocate our cause in the world.
Now to what I am really thinking about today... The Holy Spirit is our Comforter. More specifically the Holy Spirit is MY Comforter. Jesus did not leave the world comfortless at his ascension. He has left us with the ever present help in time of need.
Theologically, I believe that He is a loving Comforter. I believe that He loves us with an everlasting love in spite of who or what we are. I also believe that He loves us even though we sin against Him.
Philosophically, I believe that He is a faithful Comforter: that he will comfort His people, that He will never leave nor forsake them... that He will continually go along side- paracletos.
Intellectually, I believe that He is an able Comforter. Sometimes we are miserable at comforting others. I am weak and frail. I am blind and ignorant of other people's hurt many times. However, the Comforter is not. I believe scripture is true and that the Holy Spirit is able to comfort in seasons of sickness, death, sin, backsliding, loneliness, persecution, fear, confusion and the list could go on.
Practically I am having a really hard time with all of that comfort stuff. I do not feel comforted. I feel scared and confused. I feel sick and often times lonely. However, sometimes head knowledge has to be enough to get me through until my heart is on board.
We see the Holy Spirit as active in basically three ways as teacher, advocate and comforter. As the teacher he leads us in the knowledge salvation in Christ, our calling and all spiritual truth. He does not teach anything new. The Holy Spirit as Teacher writes truth upon our hearts through the Word and prayer.
We have an Advocate in the Holy Spirit. To the world he prompts people to fight for justice. Jesus said that he was going to send the Comforter to advocate our cause in the world.
Now to what I am really thinking about today... The Holy Spirit is our Comforter. More specifically the Holy Spirit is MY Comforter. Jesus did not leave the world comfortless at his ascension. He has left us with the ever present help in time of need.
Theologically, I believe that He is a loving Comforter. I believe that He loves us with an everlasting love in spite of who or what we are. I also believe that He loves us even though we sin against Him.
Philosophically, I believe that He is a faithful Comforter: that he will comfort His people, that He will never leave nor forsake them... that He will continually go along side- paracletos.
Intellectually, I believe that He is an able Comforter. Sometimes we are miserable at comforting others. I am weak and frail. I am blind and ignorant of other people's hurt many times. However, the Comforter is not. I believe scripture is true and that the Holy Spirit is able to comfort in seasons of sickness, death, sin, backsliding, loneliness, persecution, fear, confusion and the list could go on.
Practically I am having a really hard time with all of that comfort stuff. I do not feel comforted. I feel scared and confused. I feel sick and often times lonely. However, sometimes head knowledge has to be enough to get me through until my heart is on board.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Discouraged Peace
I am writing this blog at 5:52 am … on a Saturday. That
alone should give you some indication of how my life is going today.
A phone call, a conversation, a bad grade, a speeding
ticket, someone giving you the cold shoulder and so many other things can
happen in a brief moment and lead to such devastating disappointment and
discouragement. Bad news is hard to take. Discouragement is easy to find. It is
extremely difficult to remain positive in a discouraging world. I woke up
thinking of several things that aren’t of my own thinking or prompting, if that
makes sense. One, Jesus said “In this world you will have trouble, but take
heart I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Two, James encourages me and
everyone who believes to “consider it all joy when we face trials of many
kinds.” (James 1:2) This is counter intuitive and nearly impossible to
accomplish. I believe that in the face of the day I had yesterday, God is trying to tell me to hold on when everything in the world is saying give up. I think that these things were purposefully on my mind as I would rather be still sleeping. I do not know how to make my attitude turn around completely. I also do not know how to trust completely. I do know that I am going to give it my best effort today not to worry and be discouraged in the midst of the trials and trouble.
I will leave you with this song by Echoing Angels, "Give You Peace:"
I see you lying their whispering prayers
I hear you breathing out hollowed be thy name
Holding out my hand catching every tear
Oh my child I'll never leave your side
I will give you peace when the walls come crashing down
I will give you peace through the night
When you've had all you can take can't face another day
I'll give you peace, I'll give you peace
For such a time as this I have you here
Chosen for the lost to show I'm near
Through your brokenness my glory shines
And through your frailty my strength will rise
I hear you breathing out hollowed be thy name
Holding out my hand catching every tear
Oh my child I'll never leave your side
I will give you peace when the walls come crashing down
I will give you peace through the night
When you've had all you can take can't face another day
I'll give you peace, I'll give you peace
For such a time as this I have you here
Chosen for the lost to show I'm near
Through your brokenness my glory shines
And through your frailty my strength will rise
I will give you peace when the walls come crashing down
I will give you peace through the night
When you've had all you can take can't face another day
I'll give you peace, I'll give you peace
I will give you peace through the night
When you've had all you can take can't face another day
I'll give you peace, I'll give you peace
Your beautiful, your beautiful
Perfect in my sight
Righteousness adorns you my bride
Your beautiful, so beautiful
Perfect in my sight
Righteousness adorns you my bride
Your beautiful, so beautiful
Friday, September 21, 2012
Satan's Lies
The best lie the devil has against us is 99% true. When something is 99% true, it is hard to see the falsity in it. He basically uses two lies to trick us though.
1. We are too good and don't need God. None of us are good enough on our own. We all need God. The pride of life comes heavily into play in this lie. We believe that we are good enough and smart enough to handle life on our own. In reality, we need God for even the most simple thing, taking a breath.
2. We are too bad and don't deserve God.We are all sinful and have fallen short of the glory of God. None of us get what we deserve truly. We deserve death and if it wasn't for the price Christ paid on the cross we would receive it. We feel guilty and unworthy of the grace and forgiveness of Christ. The weight and pressure of our sin makes us shy away from the freedom of the cross. This is the lie that I fall into more frequently.
Today I am struggling to believe that God does indeed love me and wants me in the fold. Satan is whispering lies all around me that are making me feel certain ways. I am just having a rough time with breaking free of my past and even some of my present.
1. We are too good and don't need God. None of us are good enough on our own. We all need God. The pride of life comes heavily into play in this lie. We believe that we are good enough and smart enough to handle life on our own. In reality, we need God for even the most simple thing, taking a breath.
2. We are too bad and don't deserve God.We are all sinful and have fallen short of the glory of God. None of us get what we deserve truly. We deserve death and if it wasn't for the price Christ paid on the cross we would receive it. We feel guilty and unworthy of the grace and forgiveness of Christ. The weight and pressure of our sin makes us shy away from the freedom of the cross. This is the lie that I fall into more frequently.
Today I am struggling to believe that God does indeed love me and wants me in the fold. Satan is whispering lies all around me that are making me feel certain ways. I am just having a rough time with breaking free of my past and even some of my present.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Grace Part 1: Prevenient Grace
Today I need more grace in my life. I am grouchy, tired and just overall in a bad mood. I am sad and lonely. I am also confused and kind of mad. Today prevenient grace will have to be enough to get me to tomorrow.
God gives grace to all people and enables us to respond to more grace. God gives grace so we can move toward Him. We are all born into original sin, spiritually dead. If we are going to be saved, God has to start by drawing us. He does this for each person through prevenient grace. Grace is the unmerited work of God in us, for us, and through us. Prevenient grace restores our ability to respond to God.
Open windows is the illustration that many people use for prevenient grace. God opens windows in time and space for us to feel and receive extraordinary grace that enables and prompts us to respond to his calling and drawing us. These windows come at interesting moments sometimes. I felt the strongest moments of grace (which allowed me to respond to God) in Dawn's office as a high school student, on the beach in Boston during the fireworks, and other unexpected places.
Unfortunately for me, (and many) prevenient grace is not enough alone to appropriate salvation
God gives grace to all people and enables us to respond to more grace. God gives grace so we can move toward Him. We are all born into original sin, spiritually dead. If we are going to be saved, God has to start by drawing us. He does this for each person through prevenient grace. Grace is the unmerited work of God in us, for us, and through us. Prevenient grace restores our ability to respond to God.
Open windows is the illustration that many people use for prevenient grace. God opens windows in time and space for us to feel and receive extraordinary grace that enables and prompts us to respond to his calling and drawing us. These windows come at interesting moments sometimes. I felt the strongest moments of grace (which allowed me to respond to God) in Dawn's office as a high school student, on the beach in Boston during the fireworks, and other unexpected places.
Unfortunately for me, (and many) prevenient grace is not enough alone to appropriate salvation
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Speechless
Sometimes there is nothing to say. Should we force ourselves to say something even if it is worthless or unnecessary. Dawn and I briefly discussed this during Parent Teacher Conferences. I feel like I don't have anything to blog about.... or anything to add to this forum in general today.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Isms and Ologies
I can list a lot of isms and ologies that I have a good working knowledge of:
Monotheism- belief in one God
Theology- the study of God
Hamartiology- the study and doctrine of sin
Soteriology- the study and doctrine of salvation
Cosmology- the study of the created order
and the list could go on, but none of my ologies or isms can save me... not ever Christology.
Monotheism- belief in one God
Theology- the study of God
Hamartiology- the study and doctrine of sin
Soteriology- the study and doctrine of salvation
Cosmology- the study of the created order
and the list could go on, but none of my ologies or isms can save me... not ever Christology.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Familiar Tug (This is really Monday's post)
September 15, 2002 I felt my first call to ministry. I was 18. I was at Epworth Forest in North Webster Indiana. I began preaching within six weeks and am now at the first time I have ever gone a year without giving a homily. It is an odd feeling.
I have been thinking a lot about that day at Epworth Forest over the past four or five days. I was so sure that I had figured things out. Then this past Saturday a friend of mine introduced me by saying, "This is my best, good friend Meg. She is one of the best preachers I have ever heard and the most gifted writer I have ever known aside from my father. She doesn't know it now but she will be back in vocational ministry at some point." I bulked at the idea. Here I had been thinking about the calling I thought I had for several days and then to hear that, just about sent me over the edge.
To be honest in the past year since not occupying a pulpit, I have missed preaching. But to be honest again, I have not missed vocational ministry. I have not missed the long hours and heartbreak. I have missed the excitement and thrill. But as my friend said those words about me I felt a familiar tug. It was the call of Christ to come up higher and leave some of the stuff of life behind. It was God nudging my heart towards His. No, I do not want to return to vocational ministry now (or maybe ever). However, I have a huge ministry every day that I have been failing to live up to. I have a place and a job to do.
I have come to see today (after reflecting on the sermon I heard last night and the one I heard this morning... sorry I am writing this on Sunday not Monday) that I am fed up with my own apathy. I am sick of my own indifference. I am disappointed by my inaction. My call has not changed, I am called to be an instrument of God no matter where I am at, whether it is a classroom or a pulpit, a hospital bed or sitting outside having a chat with a friend. It is time to step it up. I have been wishy-washy, and lukewarm for far too long. It is time to get serious about changing my life where I am. And it is time to really take seriously that I am called to be a light in a dark world. Basically it is time to line my actions up with my theology. I may never occupy a pulpit ever again, but I have a platform every day to live a life worthy of the call of Christ. I feel like this is where the rubber will meet the road. I will be kinder to my students and colleagues. I will try to have more patience. I will have to lose some of the rough exterior. My face has been pretty leaky the past few days, and I need to accept that is part of the new reality. I need to exhibit the fruits of the spirit: peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, joy, love, self-control, humility and FAITHFULNESS. It is my lack of faith that has led me down this dark path of apathy and indifference.
Today's sermon was about Joseph and the lessons you can learn in the darkness. It was in those moments that I realized that I had truly lost myself in despair and only the hope of Christ can combat that. It was then I knew that all my thoughts, reflections and struggles with the ten year anniversary of my initial calling hurt so bad because I had given up on it. I had given up on Christ. Luckily for me, God never gave up on me. His timing is always perfect. Through Him it is now time for me to find strength and contentment in the hard places. We closed today's service with the song "It is Well" but I couldn't sing. I wept. This familiar tug leads me to think of times that ministry has not been well... things in my life do not feel well... however "though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blessed assurance control: that Christ has regarded my helpless estate and has shed his own blood for my soul. It is WELL."
I have been thinking a lot about that day at Epworth Forest over the past four or five days. I was so sure that I had figured things out. Then this past Saturday a friend of mine introduced me by saying, "This is my best, good friend Meg. She is one of the best preachers I have ever heard and the most gifted writer I have ever known aside from my father. She doesn't know it now but she will be back in vocational ministry at some point." I bulked at the idea. Here I had been thinking about the calling I thought I had for several days and then to hear that, just about sent me over the edge.
To be honest in the past year since not occupying a pulpit, I have missed preaching. But to be honest again, I have not missed vocational ministry. I have not missed the long hours and heartbreak. I have missed the excitement and thrill. But as my friend said those words about me I felt a familiar tug. It was the call of Christ to come up higher and leave some of the stuff of life behind. It was God nudging my heart towards His. No, I do not want to return to vocational ministry now (or maybe ever). However, I have a huge ministry every day that I have been failing to live up to. I have a place and a job to do.
I have come to see today (after reflecting on the sermon I heard last night and the one I heard this morning... sorry I am writing this on Sunday not Monday) that I am fed up with my own apathy. I am sick of my own indifference. I am disappointed by my inaction. My call has not changed, I am called to be an instrument of God no matter where I am at, whether it is a classroom or a pulpit, a hospital bed or sitting outside having a chat with a friend. It is time to step it up. I have been wishy-washy, and lukewarm for far too long. It is time to get serious about changing my life where I am. And it is time to really take seriously that I am called to be a light in a dark world. Basically it is time to line my actions up with my theology. I may never occupy a pulpit ever again, but I have a platform every day to live a life worthy of the call of Christ. I feel like this is where the rubber will meet the road. I will be kinder to my students and colleagues. I will try to have more patience. I will have to lose some of the rough exterior. My face has been pretty leaky the past few days, and I need to accept that is part of the new reality. I need to exhibit the fruits of the spirit: peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, joy, love, self-control, humility and FAITHFULNESS. It is my lack of faith that has led me down this dark path of apathy and indifference.
Today's sermon was about Joseph and the lessons you can learn in the darkness. It was in those moments that I realized that I had truly lost myself in despair and only the hope of Christ can combat that. It was then I knew that all my thoughts, reflections and struggles with the ten year anniversary of my initial calling hurt so bad because I had given up on it. I had given up on Christ. Luckily for me, God never gave up on me. His timing is always perfect. Through Him it is now time for me to find strength and contentment in the hard places. We closed today's service with the song "It is Well" but I couldn't sing. I wept. This familiar tug leads me to think of times that ministry has not been well... things in my life do not feel well... however "though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blessed assurance control: that Christ has regarded my helpless estate and has shed his own blood for my soul. It is WELL."
The Name: Omnipotent
Sunday series continues... This week I have been thinking about the Omnipotence of God. He is indeed all-powerful, even if I do not understand how He uses His power. This week has had many ups and downs... bumps and everything else. Yet, all the power is still safely in God's hands. While I am busy worry about everything under the sun, God is sitting in His power whispering "I've got this, I made the sun too..." I know this is not my typical Sunday discourse on a name of God, but right now I feel like it is important for me to remember that the power is His and the glory is His forever and ever. Amen.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Wounds
As I have said before, Saturdays are the hardest days for me to write. I think because I am out of the normal habit, I don't have a Saturday series like I do on Sundays, plus I just like to be lazy on Saturday.
However, this morning (after a night a fitful sleeping and bizarre dreams) I was thinking about my woundednness. I was reminded of two things but don't feel like really talking about either so I am simply go to leave you with these two quotes.
"God often works most powerfully in our lives at the location of our wounds." Jones and Armstrong
"Our woundedness should not defeat us, merely remind us we are in a battle, where our very souls hang in the balance." Julia Hurlow
However, this morning (after a night a fitful sleeping and bizarre dreams) I was thinking about my woundednness. I was reminded of two things but don't feel like really talking about either so I am simply go to leave you with these two quotes.
"God often works most powerfully in our lives at the location of our wounds." Jones and Armstrong
"Our woundedness should not defeat us, merely remind us we are in a battle, where our very souls hang in the balance." Julia Hurlow
Friday, September 14, 2012
Morning Mumblings
This morning I have been thinking about Job. I had a reaction to the shot I was given at the doctor the other day... I have blisters on the inside of my mouth, around my mouth, on my nose, forehead, inner thighs, and armpits. The itch and hurt. But more than that they are ugly and on my face. So I was thinking about Job and his boils... His friends told him to curse God and die. I am thankful that my friends won't say that to me. I am also thankful that we have medicine to help...
Thursday, September 13, 2012
I'm Batman!
This morning I donned my Batman uniform for Superhero day at work. (I look good, by the way.) But as I was putting on my utility belt and cape I was smacked in the face by Ephesians 6
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
I was putting on the full armor of Batman, but I had already failed to put on the full armor of God. This analogy is based off of a Roman soldier's uniform, with only one exception. The Romans would have also had a bow and quiver. We only have one offensive piece of armor, everything else is defensive. The belt of truth... if I know Truth, I can stand up under the lies of the enemy. Righteousness protects my heart. The right shoes makes me able to walk in peace the path that God has given me; they also give me the swiftness I need to be able to seize opportunities to further his kingdom. The shield of faith allows the brunt of the attack to be put out. It is when fear and disbelief start creeping in that the shield of faith may as well be a wet paper sack. The helmet protects my brain.... I must know that I know that I know that I am saved. And finally the Word of God is how I can combat the lies, emotions, fear, and enemy. Jesus quoted the Old Testament when he was tempted, why should I try to use anything but scripture to fight the battle that is raging inside/outside and all around me?
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
I was putting on the full armor of Batman, but I had already failed to put on the full armor of God. This analogy is based off of a Roman soldier's uniform, with only one exception. The Romans would have also had a bow and quiver. We only have one offensive piece of armor, everything else is defensive. The belt of truth... if I know Truth, I can stand up under the lies of the enemy. Righteousness protects my heart. The right shoes makes me able to walk in peace the path that God has given me; they also give me the swiftness I need to be able to seize opportunities to further his kingdom. The shield of faith allows the brunt of the attack to be put out. It is when fear and disbelief start creeping in that the shield of faith may as well be a wet paper sack. The helmet protects my brain.... I must know that I know that I know that I am saved. And finally the Word of God is how I can combat the lies, emotions, fear, and enemy. Jesus quoted the Old Testament when he was tempted, why should I try to use anything but scripture to fight the battle that is raging inside/outside and all around me?
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Good News
Two posts in one day is rare but this is worth sharing.
Sometimes good news has a weird way of finding it's way into our lives... Today I had a doctor's appointment. I went to the wrong place, because I was being careless and not paying attention to what my sheet said. When I went in and tried to register, the receptionist was all like "You don't have an appointment here; let me call our other office." So she called, all the while I was frustrated because I was sure I had an appointment. When she summoned me back to her desk, she informed me that I was supposed to be across town. However, the doctor I was supposed to see was not there because he went to the hospital for a kidney stone patient. The receptionist said I could see another doctor and the original doctor would be on his way as soon as possible. All of this was fine by me, the short story of that though is the original doctor never showed up but talked to Duggie Houser (the VERY young doctor that I landed with) over the phone for the majority of my appointment.
Okay, that was a lot of background information to say that my kidney issues are stemming from pockets of infection. Yes that sounds gross and terrible. However, this is better than I had anticipated. It was a very interesting appointment. I am mad that I am still sick, but I feel like there is a small glimmer of hope that with extended antibiotics things may start going my way. I wanted so badly to quit everything, and there is a part of me that still believes that would be easier, but I feel like this could be a turning point. The new antibiotics are supposed to make me sick, but well in the end. I feel a bit frustrated because that is what they say about every medicine they give me. Wouldn't it be great and awesome if antibiotics were the key to getting me back on the full road to health? How simple would that be?!
I don't know if that is really all that religious, which is what this blog is supposed to be about, but I do feel like in some strange way, God was in this. And as frustrated, mad and upset I was about being in the wrong spot, about still being sick, about not seeing the correct doctor... there was some small statements of hope. Maybe it is too early to call it quits.
Sometimes good news has a weird way of finding it's way into our lives... Today I had a doctor's appointment. I went to the wrong place, because I was being careless and not paying attention to what my sheet said. When I went in and tried to register, the receptionist was all like "You don't have an appointment here; let me call our other office." So she called, all the while I was frustrated because I was sure I had an appointment. When she summoned me back to her desk, she informed me that I was supposed to be across town. However, the doctor I was supposed to see was not there because he went to the hospital for a kidney stone patient. The receptionist said I could see another doctor and the original doctor would be on his way as soon as possible. All of this was fine by me, the short story of that though is the original doctor never showed up but talked to Duggie Houser (the VERY young doctor that I landed with) over the phone for the majority of my appointment.
Okay, that was a lot of background information to say that my kidney issues are stemming from pockets of infection. Yes that sounds gross and terrible. However, this is better than I had anticipated. It was a very interesting appointment. I am mad that I am still sick, but I feel like there is a small glimmer of hope that with extended antibiotics things may start going my way. I wanted so badly to quit everything, and there is a part of me that still believes that would be easier, but I feel like this could be a turning point. The new antibiotics are supposed to make me sick, but well in the end. I feel a bit frustrated because that is what they say about every medicine they give me. Wouldn't it be great and awesome if antibiotics were the key to getting me back on the full road to health? How simple would that be?!
I don't know if that is really all that religious, which is what this blog is supposed to be about, but I do feel like in some strange way, God was in this. And as frustrated, mad and upset I was about being in the wrong spot, about still being sick, about not seeing the correct doctor... there was some small statements of hope. Maybe it is too early to call it quits.
Quitting
I have felt like quitting a lot lately. Last night, well actually early this morning, I was laying in bed thinking about quitting... Quitting always makes me think of Logansport. This sermon hurts me...
This is the last sermon I preached in Logansport on August 9, 2009. I didn't say everything that is written here, and I said somethings that aren't here. This includes some of my studying, I hope you enjoy.
I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: 2preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. 6For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. 2 Timothy
Paul was like Timothy's father and these words are spoken from a father's heart to a child's heart. These are words of exhortation and encouragement that can only come from family, and they are coming at the end of Paul's ministry.
I. HE SPEAKS ABOUT THE WARFARE
(Ill. The words “fought” and “fight” both come from the same word that gives us our English word “agony”. They were used in Paul’s day to refer to ancient Greek games, where contestants struggled one against the other for supremacy. The contest that Paul seems to have in mind is the wrestling matches that were so popular in that day. Paul’s desire is to remind us that, as believers, we are not on a playground, but a battleground. In our Christian walk, we are engaged in battle and the best word to describe that battle, at times, is the word “agony”. Let’s see what he has to say about the battles we face!)
A. The Entry Into This Warfare - We enter the fray when we are “born again”. As soon as a person is saved by grace, they become a spiritual creature, 2 Cor. 5:17. Before their conversion, they were dead in sin, Eph. 2:1, and were dead to the things of God. They were a willing participant in the works and activities of the devil. However, when they are converted, they become alive to God and His work. They are indwelt by the Spirit of God, John 14:17; 1 Cor. 12:13. The problem with this lies in the fact that the old man of sin is still alive as well. This creates tremendous spiritual conflict within the life of the believer, Gal. 5:16-17. The old nature still desires the old ways of living and the sins of the flesh. The new nature wants to please the Lord and there is a struggle that ensues. Add to this the fact that Satan will do everything in his power to cause you to stumble and fail, 1 Pet. 5:8, and you have a recipe for conflict and battles! I think we would all agree that this life is filled with spiritual battles, especially if you are seeking to serve the Lord!
B. The Enemy In This Warfare - Man is never the enemy! Man may be used by the enemy for his purposes, but man is never the enemy, Eph. 6:12. Therefore, we need to learn how to forgive one another and walk in love as the Lord has commanded us, Matt. 22:37-39; Eph. 4:32. Often, we are guilty, in our zeal to combat what we perceive as evil, of fighting one another and that is a situation God cannot bless, Gal. 5:15. May we be careful to focus on who the real enemy really is! His name is Satan and he comes to us dressed as an angel of light, 2 Cor. 11:14. That is why he is so successful. He hides his true colors, while he causes us to fight to wrong enemy. A person may be a tool in the devil’s hand, they may speak the devil’s words, they may do the devil’s business in the church and to you and me, but that person is never the enemy. If anything, they need our prayers more than ever!
C. The Energy In This Warfare - Notice that Paul says, “I have fought a good fight.” Paul isn’t taking the credit for his successful ministry, but he is echoing the same thought he expressed in Gal. 2:20. He may be the one in the battle, but his energy comes from the one Who lives inside his heart! Thankfully, we do not have to fight the spiritual battles in our own power, but we can fight them if we will learn to stand in the power of the Lord, Eph. 6:10. If we can ever learn to stand in His power, we will be able to come to the end zone of our life and say with confidence, “I have fought a good fight!”
D. The Equipment In This Warfare - Just as a reminder, the battle we are fighting is not fleshly in nature, and neither are the weapons we are to use in the battle, 2 Cor. 10:3-5. Carnal people wield carnal weapons! The stinging arrows of gossip, the cruel spears of personal attacks, the sharp swords of threatening words and the harsh whip of cowardice and deception are the weapons of evil. The weapons of our warfare are designed to enable us to stand in the thick of the battle while our Lord fights them for us, Eph. 6:11-18! In fact, all of our weapons are defensive in nature, except for the Word of God and prayer! And, each of these must be used properly and for the glory of God.
II. HE SPEAKS ABOUT THE WALK
(Ill. Paul turns from the wrestling arena to the area of track and field. He has in mind the runners in the Greek games, who were required to run great distances in the hopes of being the victor. Here, Paul gives us some insight into the race we are running.)
A. He Mentions The Race - The word “course” literally refers to a “career or a race”. Paul merely reminds us that we each have a race to run! This thought is echoed in Hebrews 12:1-3. There area few thoughts I would like to pass on about this race we are engaged in today.
1. This race is individual in nature- I am not competing against you, nor are you competing against me. We mus remember this, or jealousy will creep in and cause us to stumble!
2. I cannot run your race and you cannot run mine - The individual course that we are to run has been planned out by the Lord. He decides whether the way is easy or difficult. He decides where we run and how long we run. So, the best thing we can do is stay in the lanes that God puts us in and run our own race. I will have enough to answer for at the end of the day for myself, without having to explain your race also.
3. There is only one person to watch in this race - We are not to watch one another, but we are to look to Jesus. He is the only One Who matters!
4. Whether your race is short or long, you can finish well - The judge will not judge us based on how someone else ran! Our own race will stand alone!
B. He Mentions The Reality - When Paul uses the word “finished”, if you listen closely, you can almost hear the apostle say “Whew!”. (Ill. Paul is referring to the ancient Marathon in the Greek games. In 490 B.C., the Athenians won a crucial and decisive battle over the forces of King Darius I of Persia on a plain near the small Greek coastal village of Marathon. One of the Greek soldiers ran nonstop from the battlefield to Athens to carry the news of victory. But he ran with such unreserved effort that he fell dead at the feet of those to whom he delivered the message. The marathon races that are so popular today are named for that battlefield. They also are a tribute to that soldier, the length of the run being based on the approximate distance (just over 26 miles) he ran in his last maximum effort for his country. He had completed his course, and there is no nobler way for a man to die.” He had finished his course when others around him hadn’t, v. 10. The reality of the matter is this: The race is difficult at times and it is easy to wander off course or fall by the wayside. That is why we are cautioned in Heb. 12:2 to get rid of anything that would hinder us from running a good race! I don’t know about you, but I would like to finish well!
Not everyone in this room is going to finish well. That is just the reality, but here is another reality: You can finish well, if you will keep your eyes on Jesus and run to please Him alone!
C. He Mentions The Reward - Those competitors in ancient Greece competed to win a little crown made of either oak leaves or laurel leaves. Those little crowns quickly perished. Athletes today compete for trophies and medals that will also perish. Paul looks beyond the end zone in which he stands and he sees a day when the Lord Jesus Christ, the only official in the race of life, will give him a crown that will never fade away! Paul is telling us to keep running and don’t bother waiting around for men to reward you or cheer your efforts. Just run the race, because pay day is not down here, it is over there! The Lord is watching your race and He sees everything you do. Notice that Paul calls Him “the righteous judge”. Men may not get it, but He does! He will reward you for a race well run. So, keep running, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith!
III. HE SPEAKS ABOUT THE WORD
(Ill. Paul ends his epitaph by calling attention to how he has handled the Word of God. Since Paul was a preacher, we may think that what he has to say here only applies to preachers, but in truth, there is a word here for all of us today!)
A. He Had Preserved The Message - When Paul says “I have kept the faith”, he means that he has “guarded it” like it was a precious treasure, which it is! How did Paul guard the faith? He maintained it in its pure form and he passed it down to others who would do the same, 2 Tim. 2:2. There are all kinds of opinions as to what the church should be and how it should operate, but one of our primary missions in this world is to be a repository for the truth. We are to be like a spiritual Fort Knox guarding the precious Word of God, refusing to alter it one bit, while we faithfully pass it down to the next generation. In fact, one of the surest way to gage the effectiveness and health of any church is to look at how they handle the truth! If they are keeping the truth, they are honoring the Lord. If they have altered the message, then they have slipped into error!
B. He Had Proclaimed The Master - Involved in this idea of keeping the faith is the sharing of that faith. Unlike the Hope Diamond that is keep behind several feet of glass so that people may see it but not touch it, the Gospel we hold is designed to be given away! It is the only treasure in the world that becomes more valuable as you give it away! Paul’s testimony to his ministry can be found in 2 Cor. 4:5. There he says, “For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.” Paul is telling us that while he guarded the Gospel, he was also in the business of giving it away. Let me encourage you to give away the treasure! If all we ever do with the truth is keep it under lock and key, then it benefits no one and it will cause us to become nothing but dusty, dry museums where the truth is stored in a look but don’t touch fashion. However, if e become active in giving the treasure away, it will bring new life and purpose to our lives and to our church!
C. He Had Protected The Messenger - Notice that Paul says, “I have kept the faith”. Here is a man who has reached the end of the journey and he is still clutching the message, not just with his hands, but with his heart. Through all the battles he has fought, through all the lonely valleys he has traveled, Paul never fell out of love with Jesus! Despite the fact that he was lonely, v. 9-12, discouraged and facing death, he still held on to his relationship with the Lord. What is he saying? As you go through life, you are going to face some difficulties. You are going to get hurt. There will be times when you will be misunderstood and misrepresented. There will be days when you must walk all alone. However, in spite of what you may be called upon to face in this life, you keep your faith in Him! If you can keep your eyes on the Lord while you run the race of life, you will reach your end zone and be able to say “I have kept the faith!” Not everyone is going to be able to say that, but you can if you will run for Him and Him alone! Friends, man will fail you, just ask David, Psa. 41:9, but I assure you that the Lord Jesus Christ will never fail you!
You will reach the end of your course and find that you are still in possession of the ball! I want to be able to say “I have kept the faith” don’t you?
Quitting is the easy, coward's way out. I need to fight the good fight and keep the faith.
This is the last sermon I preached in Logansport on August 9, 2009. I didn't say everything that is written here, and I said somethings that aren't here. This includes some of my studying, I hope you enjoy.
I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: 2preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. 6For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. 2 Timothy
Paul was like Timothy's father and these words are spoken from a father's heart to a child's heart. These are words of exhortation and encouragement that can only come from family, and they are coming at the end of Paul's ministry.
I. HE SPEAKS ABOUT THE WARFARE
(Ill. The words “fought” and “fight” both come from the same word that gives us our English word “agony”. They were used in Paul’s day to refer to ancient Greek games, where contestants struggled one against the other for supremacy. The contest that Paul seems to have in mind is the wrestling matches that were so popular in that day. Paul’s desire is to remind us that, as believers, we are not on a playground, but a battleground. In our Christian walk, we are engaged in battle and the best word to describe that battle, at times, is the word “agony”. Let’s see what he has to say about the battles we face!)
A. The Entry Into This Warfare - We enter the fray when we are “born again”. As soon as a person is saved by grace, they become a spiritual creature, 2 Cor. 5:17. Before their conversion, they were dead in sin, Eph. 2:1, and were dead to the things of God. They were a willing participant in the works and activities of the devil. However, when they are converted, they become alive to God and His work. They are indwelt by the Spirit of God, John 14:17; 1 Cor. 12:13. The problem with this lies in the fact that the old man of sin is still alive as well. This creates tremendous spiritual conflict within the life of the believer, Gal. 5:16-17. The old nature still desires the old ways of living and the sins of the flesh. The new nature wants to please the Lord and there is a struggle that ensues. Add to this the fact that Satan will do everything in his power to cause you to stumble and fail, 1 Pet. 5:8, and you have a recipe for conflict and battles! I think we would all agree that this life is filled with spiritual battles, especially if you are seeking to serve the Lord!
B. The Enemy In This Warfare - Man is never the enemy! Man may be used by the enemy for his purposes, but man is never the enemy, Eph. 6:12. Therefore, we need to learn how to forgive one another and walk in love as the Lord has commanded us, Matt. 22:37-39; Eph. 4:32. Often, we are guilty, in our zeal to combat what we perceive as evil, of fighting one another and that is a situation God cannot bless, Gal. 5:15. May we be careful to focus on who the real enemy really is! His name is Satan and he comes to us dressed as an angel of light, 2 Cor. 11:14. That is why he is so successful. He hides his true colors, while he causes us to fight to wrong enemy. A person may be a tool in the devil’s hand, they may speak the devil’s words, they may do the devil’s business in the church and to you and me, but that person is never the enemy. If anything, they need our prayers more than ever!
C. The Energy In This Warfare - Notice that Paul says, “I have fought a good fight.” Paul isn’t taking the credit for his successful ministry, but he is echoing the same thought he expressed in Gal. 2:20. He may be the one in the battle, but his energy comes from the one Who lives inside his heart! Thankfully, we do not have to fight the spiritual battles in our own power, but we can fight them if we will learn to stand in the power of the Lord, Eph. 6:10. If we can ever learn to stand in His power, we will be able to come to the end zone of our life and say with confidence, “I have fought a good fight!”
D. The Equipment In This Warfare - Just as a reminder, the battle we are fighting is not fleshly in nature, and neither are the weapons we are to use in the battle, 2 Cor. 10:3-5. Carnal people wield carnal weapons! The stinging arrows of gossip, the cruel spears of personal attacks, the sharp swords of threatening words and the harsh whip of cowardice and deception are the weapons of evil. The weapons of our warfare are designed to enable us to stand in the thick of the battle while our Lord fights them for us, Eph. 6:11-18! In fact, all of our weapons are defensive in nature, except for the Word of God and prayer! And, each of these must be used properly and for the glory of God.
II. HE SPEAKS ABOUT THE WALK
(Ill. Paul turns from the wrestling arena to the area of track and field. He has in mind the runners in the Greek games, who were required to run great distances in the hopes of being the victor. Here, Paul gives us some insight into the race we are running.)
A. He Mentions The Race - The word “course” literally refers to a “career or a race”. Paul merely reminds us that we each have a race to run! This thought is echoed in Hebrews 12:1-3. There area few thoughts I would like to pass on about this race we are engaged in today.
1. This race is individual in nature- I am not competing against you, nor are you competing against me. We mus remember this, or jealousy will creep in and cause us to stumble!
2. I cannot run your race and you cannot run mine - The individual course that we are to run has been planned out by the Lord. He decides whether the way is easy or difficult. He decides where we run and how long we run. So, the best thing we can do is stay in the lanes that God puts us in and run our own race. I will have enough to answer for at the end of the day for myself, without having to explain your race also.
3. There is only one person to watch in this race - We are not to watch one another, but we are to look to Jesus. He is the only One Who matters!
4. Whether your race is short or long, you can finish well - The judge will not judge us based on how someone else ran! Our own race will stand alone!
B. He Mentions The Reality - When Paul uses the word “finished”, if you listen closely, you can almost hear the apostle say “Whew!”. (Ill. Paul is referring to the ancient Marathon in the Greek games. In 490 B.C., the Athenians won a crucial and decisive battle over the forces of King Darius I of Persia on a plain near the small Greek coastal village of Marathon. One of the Greek soldiers ran nonstop from the battlefield to Athens to carry the news of victory. But he ran with such unreserved effort that he fell dead at the feet of those to whom he delivered the message. The marathon races that are so popular today are named for that battlefield. They also are a tribute to that soldier, the length of the run being based on the approximate distance (just over 26 miles) he ran in his last maximum effort for his country. He had completed his course, and there is no nobler way for a man to die.” He had finished his course when others around him hadn’t, v. 10. The reality of the matter is this: The race is difficult at times and it is easy to wander off course or fall by the wayside. That is why we are cautioned in Heb. 12:2 to get rid of anything that would hinder us from running a good race! I don’t know about you, but I would like to finish well!
Not everyone in this room is going to finish well. That is just the reality, but here is another reality: You can finish well, if you will keep your eyes on Jesus and run to please Him alone!
C. He Mentions The Reward - Those competitors in ancient Greece competed to win a little crown made of either oak leaves or laurel leaves. Those little crowns quickly perished. Athletes today compete for trophies and medals that will also perish. Paul looks beyond the end zone in which he stands and he sees a day when the Lord Jesus Christ, the only official in the race of life, will give him a crown that will never fade away! Paul is telling us to keep running and don’t bother waiting around for men to reward you or cheer your efforts. Just run the race, because pay day is not down here, it is over there! The Lord is watching your race and He sees everything you do. Notice that Paul calls Him “the righteous judge”. Men may not get it, but He does! He will reward you for a race well run. So, keep running, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith!
III. HE SPEAKS ABOUT THE WORD
(Ill. Paul ends his epitaph by calling attention to how he has handled the Word of God. Since Paul was a preacher, we may think that what he has to say here only applies to preachers, but in truth, there is a word here for all of us today!)
A. He Had Preserved The Message - When Paul says “I have kept the faith”, he means that he has “guarded it” like it was a precious treasure, which it is! How did Paul guard the faith? He maintained it in its pure form and he passed it down to others who would do the same, 2 Tim. 2:2. There are all kinds of opinions as to what the church should be and how it should operate, but one of our primary missions in this world is to be a repository for the truth. We are to be like a spiritual Fort Knox guarding the precious Word of God, refusing to alter it one bit, while we faithfully pass it down to the next generation. In fact, one of the surest way to gage the effectiveness and health of any church is to look at how they handle the truth! If they are keeping the truth, they are honoring the Lord. If they have altered the message, then they have slipped into error!
B. He Had Proclaimed The Master - Involved in this idea of keeping the faith is the sharing of that faith. Unlike the Hope Diamond that is keep behind several feet of glass so that people may see it but not touch it, the Gospel we hold is designed to be given away! It is the only treasure in the world that becomes more valuable as you give it away! Paul’s testimony to his ministry can be found in 2 Cor. 4:5. There he says, “For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.” Paul is telling us that while he guarded the Gospel, he was also in the business of giving it away. Let me encourage you to give away the treasure! If all we ever do with the truth is keep it under lock and key, then it benefits no one and it will cause us to become nothing but dusty, dry museums where the truth is stored in a look but don’t touch fashion. However, if e become active in giving the treasure away, it will bring new life and purpose to our lives and to our church!
C. He Had Protected The Messenger - Notice that Paul says, “I have kept the faith”. Here is a man who has reached the end of the journey and he is still clutching the message, not just with his hands, but with his heart. Through all the battles he has fought, through all the lonely valleys he has traveled, Paul never fell out of love with Jesus! Despite the fact that he was lonely, v. 9-12, discouraged and facing death, he still held on to his relationship with the Lord. What is he saying? As you go through life, you are going to face some difficulties. You are going to get hurt. There will be times when you will be misunderstood and misrepresented. There will be days when you must walk all alone. However, in spite of what you may be called upon to face in this life, you keep your faith in Him! If you can keep your eyes on the Lord while you run the race of life, you will reach your end zone and be able to say “I have kept the faith!” Not everyone is going to be able to say that, but you can if you will run for Him and Him alone! Friends, man will fail you, just ask David, Psa. 41:9, but I assure you that the Lord Jesus Christ will never fail you!
You will reach the end of your course and find that you are still in possession of the ball! I want to be able to say “I have kept the faith” don’t you?
Quitting is the easy, coward's way out. I need to fight the good fight and keep the faith.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Anger
Yesterday I got really mad at one of my classes. I yelled, and I even threw my clipboard. I felt bad instantly after doing it. I had made a new seating chart and they came in after lunch and erased what I had written and made it how they wanted it. I just want them to leave my stuff alone; they wouldn't have done that to a traditional educator. However, that gives me NO right to yell or throw stuff. (To be clear, I didn't throw it at them. I threw it at my desk.)
Ephesians 4:26 says, "In your anger do not sin." I don't know if yelling is a sin. I also don't know if throwing inanimate objects is a sin. But being a jerk is definitely not living beyond reproach (Titus 2 and 1 Timothy 3). In that moment, I displayed exactly zero of the fruits of the spirit. In that moment, I was completely 100% carnal.
Anger is something that I struggle with a lot. It is always just below the surface and, like today, I often go from 0-90 in .3 seconds. Anger is eating away at me. Anger makes me act like a person I don't like nor do I want to be. Yesterday my students saw a very ugly side of me. They saw someone living in and of the world. They did not see someone who knows the power of the Holy Spirit. I was an embarrassment to the cross of Christ. I showed absolutely no self-control. There are things that I feel like I have a right to be mad about, even with that class (they move my stuff, put moldy sandwiches in my desk, never work...) but nothing gives me the right to act out of fleeting furry.
Then I was reminded this morning of Colossians 1:1 to have patience and endurance. I have been lacking all sorts of patience in my life... which leads to a short fuse and throwing stuff.
Ephesians 4:26 says, "In your anger do not sin." I don't know if yelling is a sin. I also don't know if throwing inanimate objects is a sin. But being a jerk is definitely not living beyond reproach (Titus 2 and 1 Timothy 3). In that moment, I displayed exactly zero of the fruits of the spirit. In that moment, I was completely 100% carnal.
Anger is something that I struggle with a lot. It is always just below the surface and, like today, I often go from 0-90 in .3 seconds. Anger is eating away at me. Anger makes me act like a person I don't like nor do I want to be. Yesterday my students saw a very ugly side of me. They saw someone living in and of the world. They did not see someone who knows the power of the Holy Spirit. I was an embarrassment to the cross of Christ. I showed absolutely no self-control. There are things that I feel like I have a right to be mad about, even with that class (they move my stuff, put moldy sandwiches in my desk, never work...) but nothing gives me the right to act out of fleeting furry.
Then I was reminded this morning of Colossians 1:1 to have patience and endurance. I have been lacking all sorts of patience in my life... which leads to a short fuse and throwing stuff.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Faithfully Following
About a week ago (I think) I talked about FREEDOM FIGHTER and then went on to talk about the R... today I am going to address the first F. It stands for Faithfully Following God's Word and God's Way. This is the one that I am probably the worst at and most convicted by.
When my love for God outweighs my love for anything else, my life will undoubtedly be changed. My priorities are often skewed. More often than not my love of God doesn't outweigh my love for other stuff. This is not following the Word of God. He commands me to love him will all my heart, mind, soul and strength. Matthew 10:39 reminds me that if I lose my life, I will find it and that if i toil to keep my life I will lose it. Sometimes I must forsake what seems to be wisdom to follow Christ.
I have found though that in moments that I am seeking God with all that I have, that the Devil stops whispering in my ear and starts yelling in my face. But I have also found that he yells a lot when I am struggling with my faith. So which do I prefer? Do I want to be close to my Creator fighting my enemy or do I want to try to do it in my own strength? When I am in the Word and following the Way, I am able to more easily recognize the enemy and therefore avoid the brunt of the attack.
I have to remind myself that truth isn't a person's opinion it IS a person. I have to personalize my relationship with God. I have to kill the quick fix buzz of activity and people pleasing and dive into the freedom of following God. When everyone else is looking around, I need to be the type of person that looks up.
I follow my own mind and will when I think that I can handle my life better than He can. This type of life is stressful, because I am following something that changes. God doesn't change. Jesus is waiting for me to come and unload. I have to be about the Father's business. No one who comes to God will ever be denied.
I struggle with letting my past, the world, my own messed up perception define me. When the only thing I let define me becomes the Word of God my life will start to change, but if I keep listening to the world I will continue to be discouraged and defeated. How do I do this? I need to look at the life of Abraham and learn from his lessons, for a start. He followed God's word to have a son, but he didn't follow the way God said. Ishmael was born out of Abraham's desire to have control. This decision brought strife and conflict to his family, and delayed the blessing of birth of Isaac. I can't have one half, I have to follow the Word and the Way.
I do not think this is easy. I fail at this everyday. But I know what I need to do. Hopefully at some point I will be a faithful follower.
When my love for God outweighs my love for anything else, my life will undoubtedly be changed. My priorities are often skewed. More often than not my love of God doesn't outweigh my love for other stuff. This is not following the Word of God. He commands me to love him will all my heart, mind, soul and strength. Matthew 10:39 reminds me that if I lose my life, I will find it and that if i toil to keep my life I will lose it. Sometimes I must forsake what seems to be wisdom to follow Christ.
I have found though that in moments that I am seeking God with all that I have, that the Devil stops whispering in my ear and starts yelling in my face. But I have also found that he yells a lot when I am struggling with my faith. So which do I prefer? Do I want to be close to my Creator fighting my enemy or do I want to try to do it in my own strength? When I am in the Word and following the Way, I am able to more easily recognize the enemy and therefore avoid the brunt of the attack.
I have to remind myself that truth isn't a person's opinion it IS a person. I have to personalize my relationship with God. I have to kill the quick fix buzz of activity and people pleasing and dive into the freedom of following God. When everyone else is looking around, I need to be the type of person that looks up.
I follow my own mind and will when I think that I can handle my life better than He can. This type of life is stressful, because I am following something that changes. God doesn't change. Jesus is waiting for me to come and unload. I have to be about the Father's business. No one who comes to God will ever be denied.
I struggle with letting my past, the world, my own messed up perception define me. When the only thing I let define me becomes the Word of God my life will start to change, but if I keep listening to the world I will continue to be discouraged and defeated. How do I do this? I need to look at the life of Abraham and learn from his lessons, for a start. He followed God's word to have a son, but he didn't follow the way God said. Ishmael was born out of Abraham's desire to have control. This decision brought strife and conflict to his family, and delayed the blessing of birth of Isaac. I can't have one half, I have to follow the Word and the Way.
I do not think this is easy. I fail at this everyday. But I know what I need to do. Hopefully at some point I will be a faithful follower.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Bikes, Believers, Beats and the Beginning
I realize I posted my name series late last night for today, but I have more to say about the names of God. I am pausing on the Beginning this evening...
Today I got the AWESOME privilege to ride on the back of a bike (motorcycle, but had to stick with the alliteration) from Columbia City to Ivanhoe's in Upland. I was with a group of believer's from my friend Shawn's church. I was listening to beats (music, but you know alliteration) with my iPod, just enjoying the ride. I was in awe of how blue the sky was and how neat the clouds were. I was noticing the greenness of the grass, which many people were mowing. We drove by Salamonie Reservoir and and several rivers. Wonderful, Merciful, Savior began to play and I began to think about the garden of Eden... how beautiful it must have been in the beginning. That led me to think of God's name Beginning. He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. In Him all things live and breathe and find their being. I haven't felt as relaxed, at peace and so close to the Creator in a long, LONG time. Sometimes all you can do is ride and enjoy.
Today I got the AWESOME privilege to ride on the back of a bike (motorcycle, but had to stick with the alliteration) from Columbia City to Ivanhoe's in Upland. I was with a group of believer's from my friend Shawn's church. I was listening to beats (music, but you know alliteration) with my iPod, just enjoying the ride. I was in awe of how blue the sky was and how neat the clouds were. I was noticing the greenness of the grass, which many people were mowing. We drove by Salamonie Reservoir and and several rivers. Wonderful, Merciful, Savior began to play and I began to think about the garden of Eden... how beautiful it must have been in the beginning. That led me to think of God's name Beginning. He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. In Him all things live and breathe and find their being. I haven't felt as relaxed, at peace and so close to the Creator in a long, LONG time. Sometimes all you can do is ride and enjoy.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
The Name: Strong Tower
Continuing my Sunday series on the names and attributes of God... Like I said last week, I had intended to do this in alphabetical order and from a scholarly standpoint. However, that just isn't how God is working it out. It is working out to be something incredibly difficult and always emotively provoking. Funny how that works, huh?
I am actually writing this at 10:31 on Saturday night... I am feeling quite vulnerable and weak. I felt compelled to text Dawn earlier because I needed to be reassured that things were going to be okay. Sometimes this is how I get when I am lonely, tired, scared, et cetera... I just turn into a ball of neediness. Not very attractive, I realize this.
Anyway, Dawn told me I was strong. As I lay in bed thinking about that and contemplating God and everything, the words Strong Tower kept coming to mind. That is when I knew that it was time to start writing this blog and what it would be about. Proverbs 18:10 assures me that God is indeed the Strong Tower. His name will not fail. I feel weak, but He is strong. Paul later says that in my weakness the strength and grace of Christ is made full. Jehovah Ezer is the Hebrew name meaning the God who helps. It my weakness I am utterly dependent on the strength and help that only Christ can provide.
What exactly does this mean? (I know, I ask that a lot. But it is one thing that constantly plagues my mind, in all areas of my life.) It means (like Dawn also reminded me) will take trust. Yes, trust is extremely difficult. Yes, it hurts. But I have tried on my own. I have tried in my own strength and failed. I have worked to find answers and happiness outside of God and my weakness fails me over and over. But in the strength of God I can have everything I need and more, but that will have to be in a place of trust and reliance that His strength is indeed enough. My prayer as I am falling asleep is for me and for all those similar to me that are going to bed feeling sad, lonely, scared and weak... Strong Tower, protect me in your strength and wisdom. Hide me in the shelter of Your wings. Replace my sadness with assured joy, my loneliness with the peace that You are there, my fear with your love and my weakness with your unfailing strength. Help me not hide my weakness from those You have placed in my life to help me draw closer to you. Remind me that there is no shame in brokenness, crying, and needing a touch from Your hand. Let me rest in Your strength as you heal my heart, mind, soul, and body...
I am actually writing this at 10:31 on Saturday night... I am feeling quite vulnerable and weak. I felt compelled to text Dawn earlier because I needed to be reassured that things were going to be okay. Sometimes this is how I get when I am lonely, tired, scared, et cetera... I just turn into a ball of neediness. Not very attractive, I realize this.
Anyway, Dawn told me I was strong. As I lay in bed thinking about that and contemplating God and everything, the words Strong Tower kept coming to mind. That is when I knew that it was time to start writing this blog and what it would be about. Proverbs 18:10 assures me that God is indeed the Strong Tower. His name will not fail. I feel weak, but He is strong. Paul later says that in my weakness the strength and grace of Christ is made full. Jehovah Ezer is the Hebrew name meaning the God who helps. It my weakness I am utterly dependent on the strength and help that only Christ can provide.
What exactly does this mean? (I know, I ask that a lot. But it is one thing that constantly plagues my mind, in all areas of my life.) It means (like Dawn also reminded me) will take trust. Yes, trust is extremely difficult. Yes, it hurts. But I have tried on my own. I have tried in my own strength and failed. I have worked to find answers and happiness outside of God and my weakness fails me over and over. But in the strength of God I can have everything I need and more, but that will have to be in a place of trust and reliance that His strength is indeed enough. My prayer as I am falling asleep is for me and for all those similar to me that are going to bed feeling sad, lonely, scared and weak... Strong Tower, protect me in your strength and wisdom. Hide me in the shelter of Your wings. Replace my sadness with assured joy, my loneliness with the peace that You are there, my fear with your love and my weakness with your unfailing strength. Help me not hide my weakness from those You have placed in my life to help me draw closer to you. Remind me that there is no shame in brokenness, crying, and needing a touch from Your hand. Let me rest in Your strength as you heal my heart, mind, soul, and body...
Meditation
When I was a pastor, I used to pray before each sermon. In that prayer I often said "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing and acceptable in Your sight, oh Lord." When did it stop mattering? Why was it important to say it before the homily? Is it less important now? The words of my mouth and mediation of my heart should still be pleasing and acceptable in His sight.... convicted.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Attitude: Late Start
Today I have been running behind all day. These type of days really annoy me. I like things to be exactly in order at the same time every day. I hate that it is 10:08 and I am just getting to this. Typically, on a school day, this is done by 7:20. Not today :(
The problem I am really having is with my attitude during all of this. I am frustrated, annoyed and just kind of mad. There is no one or no thing that I can blame my tardiness on but myself. My tardiness and bad attitude has led to several mood swings and a headache, not very productive of me. Ephesians 4 says that I have a new attitude because I am saved. Well, that hasn't exactly been manifest in my life today (or at all lately). However, I am feeling quite convicted over my grumpiness. My life is not anyone's fault but my own... and even some of that isn't necessarily my fault. So how can I take it out on other people?
The problem I am really having is with my attitude during all of this. I am frustrated, annoyed and just kind of mad. There is no one or no thing that I can blame my tardiness on but myself. My tardiness and bad attitude has led to several mood swings and a headache, not very productive of me. Ephesians 4 says that I have a new attitude because I am saved. Well, that hasn't exactly been manifest in my life today (or at all lately). However, I am feeling quite convicted over my grumpiness. My life is not anyone's fault but my own... and even some of that isn't necessarily my fault. So how can I take it out on other people?
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Everyone Lies
People lie. All people. What is the most frequent lie I believe people tell? I think they are the phrases, "I'm/It's okay/fine." When I am feeling the worst is when I answer "How are you?" with "I'm fine." When my feelings are hurt by something or someone is when I say "It's okay." The second most frequent lie is the word whatever... This word ends conversations when there is really hundreds more words that are just below the surface. It takes all emotion out of the interaction. It is also rude, and untrue most of the time.
What does this have to do with anything? Well, first I believe honesty is important and will save a lot of drama. But more than that right now it has to do with openness and connectedness. Romans 12: 15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." If I am constantly hiding behind the mask of "I'm okay," I cannot let people connect with me. I have in effect closed myself off to the world around me. I exist only at a surface level and no one gets to see who I am. I feel like it is safer to hide and not let anyone know that I am hurting. Yes, it may be "easier" but when was easier really ever worth it in the long run?
What does this have to do with anything? Well, first I believe honesty is important and will save a lot of drama. But more than that right now it has to do with openness and connectedness. Romans 12: 15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." If I am constantly hiding behind the mask of "I'm okay," I cannot let people connect with me. I have in effect closed myself off to the world around me. I exist only at a surface level and no one gets to see who I am. I feel like it is safer to hide and not let anyone know that I am hurting. Yes, it may be "easier" but when was easier really ever worth it in the long run?
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Head vs. Heart
I have talked many times about the struggle between my head and my heart. They are at war. My head wants answers and my heart just wants to fall into grace.
Areas of Redemption
Christians talk a lot about redemption, but what exactly does that mean? There are three basic areas of redemption in which we all need grace.
1. Legal- justification, we have broken the law and this restores us to a place where we can stand without blame in the eyes of the law. Justification is what God does for us. This is the forgiveness of sin. This changes our standing in the eyes of God from guilty to innocent. We are pardoned from the moment of legal redemption and we are brought into God's favor. This is the imputed righteousness of Christ.
2. Natural/Familial- adoption, we can break natural relationships because we are adopted into the family of God. We are brought into the family of God. This is what God does through us. We become coheirs with Christ when we are brought into the family. We have confident access to the throne of God through our adoption.
3. Religious- regeneration clean vs. unclean. This is what God does in us. Our moral renewal comes through regeneration. We were dead in sin but through religious redemption we are alive in Christ. Regeneration brings a change of heart, mind, soul, will and action.
But what does all of this really mean? And how does it apply to my actual life? I can say all the theologically correct things, but still miss the point completely. I know that redemption is about deliverance, atonement and rescue. However, I cannot tell you what it means for me very easily. I still feel guilty, without a true place and unclean. I do not feel alive in Christ or like I have confident access to the throne of God. My head knows but my heart is clueless... here I am again between a rock and a crazy place.
1. Legal- justification, we have broken the law and this restores us to a place where we can stand without blame in the eyes of the law. Justification is what God does for us. This is the forgiveness of sin. This changes our standing in the eyes of God from guilty to innocent. We are pardoned from the moment of legal redemption and we are brought into God's favor. This is the imputed righteousness of Christ.
2. Natural/Familial- adoption, we can break natural relationships because we are adopted into the family of God. We are brought into the family of God. This is what God does through us. We become coheirs with Christ when we are brought into the family. We have confident access to the throne of God through our adoption.
3. Religious- regeneration clean vs. unclean. This is what God does in us. Our moral renewal comes through regeneration. We were dead in sin but through religious redemption we are alive in Christ. Regeneration brings a change of heart, mind, soul, will and action.
But what does all of this really mean? And how does it apply to my actual life? I can say all the theologically correct things, but still miss the point completely. I know that redemption is about deliverance, atonement and rescue. However, I cannot tell you what it means for me very easily. I still feel guilty, without a true place and unclean. I do not feel alive in Christ or like I have confident access to the throne of God. My head knows but my heart is clueless... here I am again between a rock and a crazy place.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Forgetting
The Bible says that God removes sin from us as far as the east is from the west... my question is does He then forget it? As a kid I was told to forgive and forget. I struggle with forgiving and I WON'T forget. I have tried to forget but I can't. Today I would like for the sins committed against me to be removed as far from the east is to the west in my brain.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Waiting
Waiting is hard. Waiting for answers. Waiting for a test to begin. Waiting to hear the voice of God. Waiting on a friend who is running late. Waiting for the bell at 3:05. Waiting is a part of life. And to be quite honest, I am not good at it. Also, I am completely tired of it. I need want answers desperately. I hate waiting, especially in doctor's offices and hospitals. They smell funny; I usually don't feel well if I am there; and often times the waiting is met with news I would rather not hear.
Yesterday we sang Chris Tomlin's song Everlasting God. It talks a lot about waiting for God and how strength will come as we wait. I feel at my most vulnerable and weak at the moments of waiting desperately for God or answers. Scripture clearly states that those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. I find that impossible to believe, though. I feel like I have been waiting, begging God for months and months now getting weaker and weaker. Why can't I believe that God is enough even in the waiting?
Yesterday we sang Chris Tomlin's song Everlasting God. It talks a lot about waiting for God and how strength will come as we wait. I feel at my most vulnerable and weak at the moments of waiting desperately for God or answers. Scripture clearly states that those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. I find that impossible to believe, though. I feel like I have been waiting, begging God for months and months now getting weaker and weaker. Why can't I believe that God is enough even in the waiting?
Sunday, September 2, 2012
The Name: Part 4
Another week has come and gone. I am actually writing this at 11:48pm on Saturday with the intent to post it tomorrow. Sundays have become the day to post about names/attributes of God. When I started this, now four weeks ago, I had every intention of doing five names a week in alphabetical order, giving a brief description of each and possible a reference verse. Well, God has had other plans for this from the beginning and I believe that the first post He let me feel some semblance of control and a self-made plan. I feel like, even though it greatly pains me to do so, this is the week to talk about the Redeemer.
Redeemer: the one who saves, buys back, restores, or provides redemption. When referring to the Christ, Redeemer can also mean the one who establishes holiness through salvation. We sang a song at church that I have heard many times on the radio, Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave. However, I couldn't sing it. I stood there hurting, thinking, struggling. So here are the lyrics my comments will be in (italics inside of parenthesis):
Seems like all I could see was the struggle (the struggle is always right at the forefront of my mind)
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past (my past screams at me. It is so much a part of who I am that I cannot even say that it is totally the past.)
Bound up in shackles of all my failures (Failures surround me)
Wondering how long is this gonna last (I cannot even tell you how many times I have wonder when the pain would end.)
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" (I don't know how to stop fighting!)
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed (Why to I feel so bound then? I am who I used to be and maybe even worse. It hurts. I hate who I am. I can't do this anymore!)
All my life I have been called unworthy (cuts me to the core of who I am)
Named by the voice of my shame and regret (Shame keeps me hidden....)
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet (I feel like I am too far gone)
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be (WHY DOES THIS HURT SO BAD? WHEN WILL YOU MAKE IT STOP?? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!)
Only the Redeemer can bring true freedom and wholeness to my heart. Yes, He often times uses people to speak life, healing, and wholeness to the deepest wounds and I am grateful that He does. He also uses people who gently come along side of me to show me the way; however, He is the only one that can provide salvation and redeem my past, present and give me a future.
Redeemer: the one who saves, buys back, restores, or provides redemption. When referring to the Christ, Redeemer can also mean the one who establishes holiness through salvation. We sang a song at church that I have heard many times on the radio, Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave. However, I couldn't sing it. I stood there hurting, thinking, struggling. So here are the lyrics my comments will be in (italics inside of parenthesis):
Seems like all I could see was the struggle (the struggle is always right at the forefront of my mind)
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past (my past screams at me. It is so much a part of who I am that I cannot even say that it is totally the past.)
Bound up in shackles of all my failures (Failures surround me)
Wondering how long is this gonna last (I cannot even tell you how many times I have wonder when the pain would end.)
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" (I don't know how to stop fighting!)
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed (Why to I feel so bound then? I am who I used to be and maybe even worse. It hurts. I hate who I am. I can't do this anymore!)
All my life I have been called unworthy (cuts me to the core of who I am)
Named by the voice of my shame and regret (Shame keeps me hidden....)
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet (I feel like I am too far gone)
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be (WHY DOES THIS HURT SO BAD? WHEN WILL YOU MAKE IT STOP?? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!)
Only the Redeemer can bring true freedom and wholeness to my heart. Yes, He often times uses people to speak life, healing, and wholeness to the deepest wounds and I am grateful that He does. He also uses people who gently come along side of me to show me the way; however, He is the only one that can provide salvation and redeem my past, present and give me a future.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Pain
I am going completely out of order, which is atypical for me. I have spoken briefly in prior posts about spiritual names. I realize that concept is unique to my generation. Many millennial Christians believe that we have a spiritual name aside from the name given to us from our parents. I have one friend who is Warrior Princess; another who is Iron and Wine; and another who is Grace. My name is Freedom Fighter. I received this name my sophomore year of college and countless hours of blood, sweat and tears have gone into discovering the implications of who that name represents and why it is my name. Freedom Fighter is actually an acronym. It is who I am supposed to be and how I am supposed to live. However, I feel like there are great spiritual truths that are applicable to each person inside each letter of the acronym. Today I feel compelled to talk about the first "R" in fReedom fighter.
The R stands for realize there is pain in the process and the process takes time. Pain is a part of life. I did not get where I am at over night. I also cannot get over the hurts of my life over night either. I must take a restoration point of view. Restoration takes time, steps and work.
The enemy hates me (and us). He wants me to be ignorant, isolated and intimidated. Satan has no authority to trick me into using my will against myself. He can only work if I am ignorant to his ways of deception or give into the pain and let him win. In isolation, the tempter always speaks louder. Someone once said that you are only as sick as your secret. He works in secrecy and in the shame of isolation. He will also try to intimidate me into not living how I know I should. Pain should not intimidate or defeat me; only remind me that I am in a battle. In moments of pain and frustration I have to do all in my power to weed out deception. Feelings and emotions have a funny way of deceiving. And the enemy will always disguise himself as something attractive, that will take away some of the pain. He will always identify me by my past and use that to bring the pain to the forefront of my mind.
Unfortunately for me, growth comes out of brokenness. Scars are stronger than skin. Broken bones grow back stronger than the bone surrounding it. Wounds of the heart leave scars that can enable me to minister to other people in pain. I hate that, that is true. However, I have seen in first hand too many times to deny. God is more than able to turn pain into purpose, mess into message, and test into testimony. There is nothing that God cannot fix, redeem or restore. I believe that theologically, but it is extremely difficult to believe in my own life.
I have tried to tidy myself up instead of just handing my pain to God. I still am guilty of that most of the time. However, when I feel like I am nowhere good enough, I have to remind myself that one of the few people that Christ ever pronounced forgiveness to was the thief on the cross. Also, the very first person that was "saved" was (depending on interpretation, but my personal belief) was the woman at the well. She was an adulterer and was shunned by everyone. Also she was a Samaritan. Christ shouldn't have talked to her simply based on the fact he was a Jew. Not only did he talk her her, he revealed himself as the Messiah to her! Surely, I can bring my heart ache and pain to him.
The R stands for realize there is pain in the process and the process takes time. Pain is a part of life. I did not get where I am at over night. I also cannot get over the hurts of my life over night either. I must take a restoration point of view. Restoration takes time, steps and work.
The enemy hates me (and us). He wants me to be ignorant, isolated and intimidated. Satan has no authority to trick me into using my will against myself. He can only work if I am ignorant to his ways of deception or give into the pain and let him win. In isolation, the tempter always speaks louder. Someone once said that you are only as sick as your secret. He works in secrecy and in the shame of isolation. He will also try to intimidate me into not living how I know I should. Pain should not intimidate or defeat me; only remind me that I am in a battle. In moments of pain and frustration I have to do all in my power to weed out deception. Feelings and emotions have a funny way of deceiving. And the enemy will always disguise himself as something attractive, that will take away some of the pain. He will always identify me by my past and use that to bring the pain to the forefront of my mind.
Unfortunately for me, growth comes out of brokenness. Scars are stronger than skin. Broken bones grow back stronger than the bone surrounding it. Wounds of the heart leave scars that can enable me to minister to other people in pain. I hate that, that is true. However, I have seen in first hand too many times to deny. God is more than able to turn pain into purpose, mess into message, and test into testimony. There is nothing that God cannot fix, redeem or restore. I believe that theologically, but it is extremely difficult to believe in my own life.
I have tried to tidy myself up instead of just handing my pain to God. I still am guilty of that most of the time. However, when I feel like I am nowhere good enough, I have to remind myself that one of the few people that Christ ever pronounced forgiveness to was the thief on the cross. Also, the very first person that was "saved" was (depending on interpretation, but my personal belief) was the woman at the well. She was an adulterer and was shunned by everyone. Also she was a Samaritan. Christ shouldn't have talked to her simply based on the fact he was a Jew. Not only did he talk her her, he revealed himself as the Messiah to her! Surely, I can bring my heart ache and pain to him.
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