Anger

Yesterday I got really mad at one of my classes. I yelled, and I even threw my clipboard. I felt bad instantly after doing it. I had made a new seating chart and they came in after lunch and erased what I had written and made it how they wanted it. I just want them to leave my stuff alone; they wouldn't have done that to a traditional educator. However, that gives me NO right to yell or throw stuff. (To be clear, I didn't throw it at them. I threw it at my desk.)

Ephesians 4:26 says, "In your anger do not sin." I don't know if yelling is a sin. I also don't know if throwing inanimate objects is a sin. But being a jerk is definitely not living beyond reproach (Titus 2 and 1 Timothy 3). In that moment, I displayed exactly zero of the fruits of the spirit. In that moment, I was completely 100% carnal.

Anger is something that I struggle with a lot. It is always just below the surface and, like today, I often go from 0-90 in .3 seconds. Anger is eating away at me. Anger makes me act like a person I don't like nor do I want to be. Yesterday my students saw a very ugly side of me. They saw someone living in and of the world. They did not see someone who knows the power of the Holy Spirit. I was an embarrassment to the cross of Christ. I showed absolutely no self-control. There are things that I feel like I have a right to be mad about, even with that class (they move my stuff, put moldy sandwiches in my desk, never work...) but nothing gives me the right to act out of fleeting furry.

Then I was reminded this morning of Colossians 1:1 to have patience and endurance. I have been lacking all sorts of patience in my life... which leads to a short fuse and throwing stuff.