As a person who has anxiety (to the point of needing daily medication), I understand fear. I understand worrying about something to the point of causing fear. I can know that something is seriously irrational and still be afraid.
As a person who loves God and His Word, I know that the Bible has exhorted us 365 times to not be afraid. I can see clearly how fear is an absences of faith and trust. Yet, I cannot always talk myself out of fear and back into faith.
However, there are occasions in life where faith and fear collide. (It is as dramatic as it sounds most of the time.) These are moments of worship in the midst of fear and the Holy Spirit whispers to my heart that it will be okay, no matter what the outcome is. This has been happening more and more lately. As the fear of what is happening to me medically comes to the forefront of my mind all the time, I have had to make worship, through song and prayer, a part of my daily routine. Sometimes I have to listen to the same song for four hours at work and let the truth of it sink way down to keep the fear at bay. Other times, I am full into the fear without even fully realizing in and then I hear a song that snaps me back into reality and out of anxiety.
When I allow myself to meet God in these moments, something holy happens. Something that I cannot really put into words, but the sweetness of those moments can only be from God. The tears from those moments can only be of healing. Trust is not easy, faith is not easy, but in these moments they are easier.
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