Sunday I was reminded of some of the worst things about me. I feel ugly... not physically but my character. I have failed in some pretty epic ways, especially in the United Methodist Church. However, there is no one that knows the whole story and yet I am continually judged by people's perception of what happened. How would any of them feel if they were continually recognized by something that shamed them and caused them unspeakable pain?
There is a part of me that thinks "who the heck are you?!?! You don't know me!" But there is a bigger part that just accepts that they are right and I was and remain wrong. I will never be ordained in the UMC... that is true. I still have very strong feelings about the UMC and their doctrine, services, process and whatnot.
We are taught to treat others how we want to be treated. I really doubt that anyone wants to be treated the way that people have treated me over my exiting the church. Matthew 7 tells us that we are to basically deal with our own sin before telling other people their sin. I doubt the people who constantly want to throw that stuff in my face and speak to me with exceeding condescension are perfect, but neither am I.
The bottom line of this rant is they really hurt my feelings and made me feel worse about myself than I already do. I do not know how that is showing the love of God.
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