Grief is a fickle beast. I can go days, weeks, and months without the slightest touch of grief, but then in a date, a sound, a smell my heart can be overwhelmed by great sadness. I know that psychologist talk about the five stages of grief, but I think they are quite a bit more fluid than that. I can move from acceptance to disbelief in seconds.
Grief in my world is a complex, multifaceted response to heart ache and loss. Some people focus on the emotional response to loss, and it is great. However, I would say right now, as I have physical pain, the desire to socially withdrawal and philosophical questioning, it is much deeper than just negative feelings.
In Biblical times, when a person was in mourning they dressed in sackcloth and put ashes on their head so the community would know they were hurting. Now we put on our normal clothes, a fake smile and pretend that nothing is wrong. This prevents people from knowing our pain... or sharing it to help lighten the load. Ecclesiastes says that there is a time to mourn or grieve. Ecclesiastes also tells us that friendship is necessary... I am trying not to make too big of a leap with this connection; however, I feel like friendship is part of the cure to a heavy heart.
Can any person return to "normal" after a loss? Yes and no, I think. Things will be a new normal, but never how they were before.
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